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I sit up straight. “I can take it.”
Warrose exhales loudly. “Fine, but you have to swear you won’t go crying to him once I tell you.”
I nod once.
“Vexamen isn’t exactly the most civilized place. They do things very differently. Their culture. Their military. Their laws. It would turn your stomach to hear the stories I could share.” He rubs a large hand through his wet hair. “But specifically, they have something called a meat carnival.”
I really don’t like the sound of that.
“A meat carnival is where butchers bring the beasts they find and torture them in front of a crowd as a form of entertainment. They—well, I’ll spare you the gruesome details. But it isn’t pretty.”
“They—what?!” My voice is a choked, quivering mess.
“Oh my god!” Ruth drops her book to the floor, crawling to my side. “Oh, Skylenna!”
But I can’t breathe. Is it warm in here? My feet are clenched in my boots, and I can feel the pressure of my dinner rising in my esophagus.Not my DaiSzek. Not my boy!
“We’re going to get him back,” Warrose says.
I shake my head, although I have nothing to say. They can’t hurt DaiSzek. He’s a monster. A legend. A force stronger than anything they can throw at him.
But what if they keep him drugged? What if he can’t fight back when they bring him to this meat carnival?
I’m on my feet, walking absently to the door. My name is called. Footsteps shuffle toward me. The pain in my chest is crippling. The fear of losing my friend, the betrayal of Dessin and his secrets, the new knowledge that Aurick was using me. It’s biting into my flesh, sucking out my soul.
“I need to process this alone,” I say to them, opening the door to leave.
The last thing I hear is Warrose speaking to Ruth. “You’ll attend my funeral, won’t you?”
I open the door to my room. Step inside mechanically, like my joints are rusted and old, like I’m moments away from falling to pieces.
Dessin is sitting on an armchair by the fire. Elbows on knees, head in hands. He’s having a hard time too. He knows what’s at stake. He knows what could happen to our boy.
“I can’t figure it out.” My words float from my lips to the warm air like a new butterfly taking flight. And for a moment, you can’t tell how heavy they are.
Dessin turns his head, finding me standing in front of the door with his tired eyes. So sad. So defeated.
“I can’t decide on what to feel right now. Hatred for you and your lies. Mind-blowing fury that you left me under his roof, even after he hit me. And you let me find out in the most humiliating way.” I take a sharp breath in, and he watches me with a stoic, guarded expression.
“Or…” My throat clamps up, forming a thick lump that I can’t swallow. “Terror. Because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I didn’t know how Vexamen treat their animals. I didn’t know about the meat carnivals. I didn’t know—” I suck in a stuttering breath, hot tears pooling over my eyes. “I might lose him forever!” The cry breaks through my walls, shattering my heart in its wake. My arm reaches out to the doorknob, a lifeline to keep me on my feet.
Dessin is up from his seat in a blink of an eye, and he’s at my side, hands hovering around me because he knows he doesn’t have permission to comfort me.
“I can’t lose him, Dessin!” I sob hysterically like I can’t find the oxygen in the room, like I’ll choke to death on my own grief. “We’ve lost so much already. He’s the only family we have!”
“I’m sorry, Skylenna—I’m so fucking sorry. Please let me comfort you,” he says with a strained tone, breathing heavily against my face. I nod my head through the breakdown, unable to see him react through my tears, but I feel it as soon as his big hands slide around either side of my face. Holding me like I might shatter into tiny pieces at his feet. The fragile doll he fears might stop working.
“I’m going to save Dai. He knows that. And you know I’d give my life to protect the ones I love.” He’s the image of heartache and the devil’s wrath. A man bleeding on the inside. An apocalyptic storm that is only briefly contained. “I will become hell on earth to bring him home to you. Please believe me.”
“I believe you,” I mutter despite his lies. Despite the betrayal I still feel deep in my bones. If there’s one thing I’ll believe at a time like this, it’s that Dessin can do anything he sets his mind to.
“They haven’t left the Dementia shoreline. He won’t get sent to the meat carnival until they believe they’ve lured me out, trapped me, and taken me with them. But I’m mapping it out. You know I never enter a situation without being ten steps ahead.”
“I know,” I say. It’s one of the many things I love about this man.
Dessin leans his forehead against mine like he’s resting, using me to hold him up. His eyes close. “You named him.”
I sniffle, unsure if I heard him right. “What?”
