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Aurick’s fingers dig into the leather arm of the couch. “I wasn’t going to. My fiancé was the heir of the Blackforth line. Remember when I told you about the founders? Orin Blackforth and Abraham Demechnef? We were supposed to inherit this together. We wanted to stop the experimentations.” He takes a steadying breath. “But—before we could wed, someone blew her up. We had a secret getaway, a cottage in the Bear Traps. And I knew it was Vexamen. I just didn’t know he was living under my roof.” A mask of trembling rage fills his expression. “We can’t find him anywhere. Maybe he was tipped off that his cover was going to be blown and fled.”
“And it made you want to create the perfect soldier to end the war. Out of vengeance.”
“That’s right.”
“You wanted to keep ruining lives because yours was ruined.”
“Is there a question in there?” he bites.
“Why does there even have to be a war? Why can’t you let this go and make an effort for a peace treaty with Vexamen?” I ask.
Aurick turns to me with wide, hateful blue eyes. “Peace? Could you let this go if you lost the love of your life? Your soul mate?” His eyes are an avalanche, burying me in his grief. “Besides, do you even know what’s going on over there? Have you heard of the meat carnivals? What about how they rip babies from their mother’s breasts? Raise them to never know empathy, make them take their parents as pets to break them. They are literally breeding children to be the deadliest army in the world. The Vexamen Breed.”
I gulp. No, I didn’t know that. I only just learned about the meat carnival.
“I only have to ruin one life. The most skilled, genius warrior in the world who can end the war by outsmarting any army, any government, and world leader. I’ll do it. To save the lives of thousands of children. To end the meat carnivals. To avenge my soul mate.”
I think about this. In a twisted way, I can see how this logic makes sense to him.
“But why him? Why out of all the people in this country did it have to be him?”
Aurick blinks at me in disbelief. “He hasn’t told you that either? Really?”
I ball my hands into fists. Shake my head.
“Huh.” He eyes me suspiciously, like there’s no way I can’t already know this. “Well, it has to do with his birth. That’s all I can really say about it.”
“Of course it is.” Why would he tell me anything that Dessin won’t?
He’s quiet for a moment, thinking about something that makes him rub his eyes with his left hand. “Skylenna?”
I look to him warily.
“What does Vexamen have that’s so important to Dessin?”
“If he won’t tell you, then you know I can’t.”
“Whatever it is, I can’t use it against him. In exchange for Masten’s name and evidence that he was a traitor, I can’t do anything to him that he would consider a breach of the treaty.”
I sigh. Why should I give Dessin the respect of keeping his secrets now?
“If I tell you, will you answer one last question with complete honesty?” I ask.
He narrows his eyes into small slits. “Depends on the question.”
“Was it ever real for you? Our friendship? Did you—did you ever feel remorse for tricking me? For attacking me?”
He holds my gaze for a long moment, a little caught off guard that I asked. One hand runs through his slick black hair. “Despite my efforts to remain indifferent and keep myself from getting attached, it was real for me. And I’ll never forgive myself for striking you. I apologize, I do. But I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness either… not that you’d ever give it.” He leans forward, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Red would never forgive me for that man I’ve become in her absence.”
I take a few deep breaths, remembering the shooting pain of his knuckles blasting across my cheek. The terror I felt watching him lose control.
“DaiSzek,” I say quietly. “We are close with the last RottWeilen in existence. And they took him. That’s who we’re trying to get back.”
I rise from my seat, exiting the room with both a little relief and guilt that I shared one of Dessin’s weaknesses with the leader of Demechnef.
I think Dessin is asleep when I crawl into bed next to him.
I’m twisted in a painful knot of guilt for telling Aurick this secret, and anger because apparently Aurick was surprised about the details Dessin still has yet to share with me.
