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Chills blossom over my back.
“What did you keep safe?” I ask so quietly, it sounds like an expelled breath.
“Memories.”
Dessin takes a step forward. “I can’t be close to you and the trauma you hold.”
“Trauma wasn’t the reason I split,” she murmurs. “I’m a memory holder. But my purpose is to protect the memories that have given us life. The small moments that have made the trauma worth the struggle.”
Sophia moves toward him, and although Dessin fears this place, he doesn’t shy away from her. Why? For the same reason I feel so nostalgic around her calming presence. For the same reason her energy reminds me of falling in love, picking flowers, or having a first kiss under a waterfall.
She reminds me of all the good things that have happened to us.
She reminds me of home.
“I think it’s time I give a moment back to you,” she adds, placing her left hand on his shoulder, and reaching her other hand out for me to take.
His breath hitches as my skin touches hers, shooting us both through the memory as if we’re living it all over again.
~
Dessin
“I watched you die!” Skylenna screams in anger at first, but the meaning behind her words causes her bottom lip to tremble. And she breaks into tiny little pieces.
We’re surrounded by dead Vexamen soldiers in the Hangman’s Valley. DaiSzek and I followed the sixth sense that she was in danger. We knew exactly what to do.
And this is the first time she’s seeing me since I died in her arms.
She coughs out a sob and tries to feebly pound her fists against my chest. I can’t watch her fall apart any longer. I grab her hands before they meet my chest, drawing her against my body and walking us back until I’m pressing her against a tree.
My heart is a flurried storm of endless anguish. That storm doesn’t calm until I rest my forehead to hers, silencing the noise of the forest, silencing the other alters in my mind.
Her golden face becomes blurry through the thin sheen of tears.
“I was so cold…” she whimpers, sending a thousand knives through my soul. “I wanted to die, too.”
How could I ever make up for this pain I’ve caused her? How will I ever live up to deserving a heart as pure as hers?
“Forgive me,” I grunt through the lump forming in my throat. “Forgive me. Because I’ll never forgive myself. We never wanted you to hurt like this.”
It was her plan when she was younger. Our Skylenna was actually willing to succumb herself to this custom form of hell just to be with us. Just to be able to protect us the way we’ve always protected her.
She cries harder than I’ve ever seen her cry, drooping in my arms as she bellows. I lock my hold around her, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair, feeling her heartbeat against my own.
I love you, baby. I love you so much.
“Please, don’t leave me,” she begs with a small voice, so desperate, so tortured, I nearly drop to my knees.
“I’m here. I’m here.” Every muscle in my arms and back tightens, fiercely wrapping around her limp frame, determined to always hold her up at her weakest.
Skylenna howls against me, unraveling against my chest. “You were dead!”
“I was. And it killed me more watching you watch me die.”
“I can’t get the memory out of my head. I see your blood on my hands everywhere I go.”
Fucking hell. Nothing in the world has ever cut me this deep.
