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So would you, that sex kitten voice purrs in my head. And though I was just wildly riding him this afternoon, it seems like that was ages ago already. It was a pocket of time and space where there were no rules, no consequences, no reality, a blip that blinked out, leaving this awkward uncomfortableness of eyes staring us down like we’re specimens to be dissected.
“So, what’s the deal with the two of you?” Mark demands of me with a lift of his chin. I only know he’s Mark because Katelyn’s by his side, and at his brusque pseudo-question, she lays her hand over his. “What?” he says to her, shrugging carelessly. “It’s what we all want to know, the elephant in the room or whatever. We heard Brutal’s version outside and wanna hear Allyson’s too. Might as well get it out of the way so we can eat in peace, right?”
Well, shit. There’s no hiding now, not with the big ass spotlight Mark just shone on me.
“Leave her alone, Mark.” Bruce’s voice is powerfully furious but quiet. A calm before another storm. With Cooper sitting right here with a front-row seat. No, I can’t let that happen.
I steel my nerves, limiting my tapping to just one finger against my thigh under the table. I can do this. Short and to the point is key. Be firm so as not to invite further questions that might dive too deep. Just like I tell clients when they’re preparing to testify, because this feels eerily similar.
I meet Mark’s eyes, no small feat in itself, and recite the basics, being very intentional with my words because of Cooper’s presence even though he’s building some sort of green bean log cabin that keeps falling over. He’s completely oblivious to the adult conversation and thread of tension going on around him.
It feels like I’ve said some version of this story so many times recently, to myself, to Bruce, even to Michelle. It’s easier with each telling, but it still makes me feel like I’ve got a target on my back with the staredowns I’m getting. Like they’re comparing whatever Bruce said to what I just said, and like it was some test, I’m dying to know if I passed. Or if he said something different.
But what would he have said? I just told the truth.
Mark hums in approval as I finish, and Bruce lays his arm around the back of my chair in what would be a casual move in any other situation. This one, as his rough fingers tease along the bare skin of my shoulders, is a bold claiming, telling everyone that’s enough and to fuck off. I’m thankful for the backup, but my basking in his support is a flashing neon danger sign to me.
All of this is too much, too soon, too fast, too strong, too scary.
I’m having dinner with his family, for fuck’s sake! He’s throwing about words like ‘mine’ and talking about ‘us’ like there is such a thing.
I can feel myself rebuilding the walls that came down when it was just the two of us, slapping up brick by brick to give me a quick defense against it all. Cold settles in my veins, and I stay stoic and quiet.
The rest of dinner, no one says a word to me, no more questions, no more snarky remarks, nothing. It’s exactly what I want, but it feels like I’ve already been dismissed as unworthy.
Not soon enough, dinner ends and I make my escape.
“Thank you so much for dinner, Mama Louise. And for hanging out with Cooper, Shayanne.” The two women smile in response, a rare and appreciated kindness given the mood of the rest of dinner. “We need to get going with the drive back to town.”
“Of course, dear. Drive safely, and you’re welcome at my dinner table anytime,” Mama Louise says with a smile that says she knows the gauntlet I just endured and is maybe a bit apologetic about it. Or is that pride glinting in her eyes? “You too, Mr. Cooper!”
She hugs him, and he hugs her right back without hesitation, making my heart stutter.
Bruce walks us out, using a flashlight from by the door to shine the way back to our car parked closer to the Tannen house. When I unlock the doors, Bruce holds up a fist and Cooper pounds it. “Your family is awesome, Coach B! Shayanne told me I can visit Bacon Seed anytime I want. Is that true?”
Bruce nods. “If Shayanne said it, she meant it. But only if your mom says it’s okay too.”
Cooper looks at me with puppy dog eyes, pleading his case over clasped hands. “Please, Mom?”
“We’ll see.” He hops around wildly like I agreed and then climbs in the car, still wiggling happily. I close the door behind him and then it’s just Bruce and me in the dark night as he clicks off the flashlight.
