Page 24 of Beautifully Broken


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“Promise me that you’ll use it.”

“I promise, Jaxon.”

He holds my gaze for a few more seconds, ensuring that I’m telling the truth. He then turns to the door and opens it. Before stepping through, he turns back around.

“I’ll see you in the morning. Lock the door behind me. I’m not leaving until I hear the click.” His face is stern. I believe he would actually stand out there all night if he didn’t hear the click of the lock.

I nod, and then tell him verbally, “I’ll lock the door as soon as I close it. I promise.”

He turns back to the door and walks through it, grabbing the handle and pulling it closed as he goes. Right before it shuts, he stops and looks me straight in the eye and says softly, “Thank you, angel.”

I have no idea what he’s thanking me for. Before I get a chance to ask him, he closes the door with a soft click. I immediately reach out to flip the lock, and rest my head against the door. I’m surprised I feel the sadness seep into me once it’s closed. I didn’t want him to leave, but then again, it’s a relief to not feel so on edge anymore. It isn’t until a couple of minutes later that I hear his heavy boots walking away.

I let out a tired breath, beyond drained. I debate with myself on whether I want to take the time to relax in the bath, or take a quick shower before heading to bed. I decide that my best bet would be a quick shower. I’m so tired that it would be just my luck to fall asleep in the bath and drown myself.

I’m starving, but I can’t find the energy to go in the kitchen and make myself something to eat. I’d like to explore the apartment some more, but again, I just don’t have the strength for it right now. Instead, I make my way on tired legs to the bedroom.

I grab a black tank top and a pair of lime-green soft cotton shorts from the dresser and leave my purse and the envelope of money on top. On my way to the bathroom, I snatch a towel and wash cloth out of the linen closet in the hallway.

Setting my stuff down on the shelf beside the shower, I start stripping off my clothes. Once I’m naked, I stand in front of the mirror that hangs above the sink to examine myself.

For most of my life I’ve had pale skin. This stems from not being allowed outside much. As a kid, it was rare that my parents let me outside. Even though we had a privacy fence, my parents wanted me to have as small a chance of interacting with other people as possible. If they could have gotten away with it, they wouldn’t even have allowed me to go to school. Luckily for me, they were smart enough to know that if they didn’t let me go, then they would have Family and Children Services knocking on their door.

When I was with Steven, he liked control in all things. He liked to keep me in the house where he knew what I was doing and what people I saw. He had cameras set up all along the property, so if I ventured outside he would know and then I would be punished. I learned really fast to not chance it and just stayed inside. Every once in a while though, the call of the warm sun would be strong enough that I deemed a beating worthy of just a few minutes outside. Those few minutes were so very precious to me. I would find a nice soft spot in the grass and lie there with my eyes closed, inhaling the fresh air. I would lie there and daydream that I was anywhere but where I actually was. I was completely free in those few moments, and I loved every second of them.

It was only during my college years that I spent any real time outside. When I first left my parents’ house, I would spend every waking moment when I wasn’t in class, working, or asleep outside. I spent more time outside than I did inside. There were several times that I got bad sunburns from sitting in the sun for so long. I know it sounds strange, but I loved the feeling of my skin being burned from the sun. Even though it made my skin itch and hurt, I would still find myself going outside whenever I could. Eventually, Chris would make me come inside so she could rub aloe vera on me. I hated going inside, but I knew that I needed to let my skin heal from the burns. Over a period of time, I stopped burning, and I just started to tan.

Looking at my body now, I realize that I look even paler than I normally do. I’ve completely lost my tan from the couple of years I’ve been forced to stay inside. Maybe I’ll try to spend some time outside tomorrow before my shift. I’ll take my book and sit in the gazebo that’s on the library lawn.

My gaze wanders down my body, stopping every few seconds to look at the multitude of scars that riddle me. Steven was a sadistic bastard who liked to mark my body in numerous ways, using different kinds of instruments.

When I turn my back to the mirror, I looked over my shoulder and see even more scars. They run from the tops of my shoulders all the way down to the back of my thighs. I’m covered in them. I will forever be branded by Steven and our life together, and no matter how hard or far I run, I will always carry the memory of him with me. He made sure that I’ll never forget.

I release a tired sigh and walk over to the tub and adjust the temperature to my liking. I’ve always enjoyed scorching-hot showers. There were many times as a child and an adult that the only thing that made me feel somewhat clean was a blistering-hot shower. Most people would shrink away from the heat of the water, but I welcome it.

Once the temperature is just right, I climb into the shower and let the hot water beat down on my head and shoulders. It’s so nice to take an actual shower.

I reach through the curtain and pick up the loofah and bodywash. I squirt some on the loofah and start to lather it across my tired body. Starting with my shoulders, I work my way all the way down to between my toes. Once finished, I rinse and do it again. After I deem my body clean enough, I start on my hair. I wash that twice as well, but only run conditioner through it once.

When I’m done, I shut the water off, grab the towel, and dry my heated body. I’m still exhausted, but I finally feel clean again. I hang the towel on the hook on the back of the bathroom door and slip into my clothes. I run my brush through my hair and then braid it down my back. When I’m at home, I don’t mind having my hair pulled back from my face. I’ve grown used to the hideous scar. It’s just another reminder of what I’ve left behind, and it gives me the courage to keep running.

I pick up my clothes and drop them into the hamper inside the closet. Walking back to the dresser, I dig through my purse and grab my phone. I need to call Chris and give her an update. Once I pull back the covers and slip into bed, I push the button on my phone to bring up my contacts. I only have three. Chris, Anna, and now, Jaxon. I stare at his number for a couple of minutes. I wonder what he’s doing right now. Did he go back to the bar? Is he below me right now wondering what I’m doing? Did he go home for the night? Either way, I’m sure once he left here, I was the last thing on his mind.

Chris is the first person in my contacts, and I click on her name.

“Hey, Bailey!” comes her cheery voice. “How are you? How’s the new job going?” It’s always the same with Chris. She sounds so excited to hear from me.

“I’m doing okay, and the job is going great,” I tell her. “There were a few hiccups, but nothing too bad. It’s been better than what I thought it would be. I think I might actually enjoy working there.”

This is the truth. Other than the Shady incident, I really like working there. I don’t tell her about the altercation between Jaxon and Shady. It’ll only make her worry more.

“That’s wonderful news, honey,” she says happily. “How’s the town? Is everyone nice? From what you’ve said, it seems pretty small, and I know some small towns don’t like new people encroaching on their turf.” The concern I hear in her voice touches my heart.

“To be honest, everyone’s been really nice. Too nice sometimes.” I mutter the last. “There’s a girl named Anna here who’s been really sweet. I like her a lot.”

I go on to explain how I met Anna and how she found me screaming in my car after my nightmare. I tell her about her and Nick’s relationship, explaining how I’ve never met two people more in love with each other.

“Have you had any luck with a place to stay?” she asks. “You can’t keep staying in your car. It’s not safe, and I’ll worry about you until you find something more permanent.” To this day, it still amazes me how much Chris cares for me. Other than her, there has been no one else who cared if anything happened to me.

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