AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Baby, you need to learn that you can trust me. I can help you, if you’ll only let me. Please let me do this. I can see the struggle that you carry. It’s killing me knowing that you’re going through something I have no knowledge of.”
It takes everything I have to not give in to him, but I just can’t. I can’t let him put himself, or anyone else, in danger. He doesn’t understand the ramifications. Steven has too much power and is too high on the chain for Jaxon to come out unscathed.
“You don’t understand, Jaxon. It’s too dangerous. I can’t tell you. It’ll only hurt you, and I won’t allow that to happen. As much as I thought I could never trust or care about someone again, I have come to care about you. And trust do you. That’s why you can’t know. I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, especially because of me.” I beg him with my eyes to understand.
The grip he has on my chin tightens slightly, his expression determined. “I can take care of myself. It’s you who needs protecting. I just don’t know what from. You’re leaving me blind here.”
“There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing anyone can do. I brought it on myself, and I have to figure out a way to fix it. Thank you for caring and wanting to help. You have no idea how much that means to me, but there’s nothing that can be done.”
Torment swirls in his eyes before he roughly pulls me forward and into his arms. He rests his chin on top of my head. I wrap my arms around him as well, basking in his outdoorsy scent. It’s amazing how safe I feel when I’m surrounded by Jaxon. I’ve never felt safe in my life. I savor it and wish I could have it forever. I tuck each and every one of Jaxon’s hugs away in my memory bank, so that when I leave and I need comfort, I can pull them out again.
“Ah, angel, I wish you would let me be the judge of that,” he murmurs.
We continue to hold each other for several minutes. Neither of us speaks, both lost in our own thoughts. He pulls back slightly but keeps his arms around me. His eyes are a beautiful steel blue again, a color I’m coming to realize happens with deep emotion.
“I need to get you in bed,” he says huskily.
My body jerks, and I suck in a quick breath. My heart starts to thunder in my chest. I don’t know if it’s from fear or anticipation. The act of sex itself terrifies me, but I know it would be different with Jaxon. Jaxon wouldn’t force me. He wouldn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do. He would be gentle and easy. Even knowing this, I’m still not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. What if all I see is Steven and his goons forcing themselves on me?
Jaxon notices my imminent panic attack and quickly places both of his hands on the sides of my face. He bends down so we’re eye to eye.
“No, angel, no. That’s not what I meant. As much as I want to take you to bed and make love to you, I know you can’t handle that right now. I can be patient and wait. You’re beat and need to get some rest. I just want to hold you until you fall asleep. No funny business. I promise. Will you give me that?”
As I look up at Jaxon, I realize three things. One is that I’ve come a long way since I first rolled into town. I no longer shrink away when Jaxon gets too close or initiates intimate contact, something I never thought was possible. The second is that I’ve never wanted anything more than to have Jaxon hold me as I drift off to sleep. To be cocooned in his big arms seems like the most perfect way to end the day. And the third is that I completely trust Jaxon to keep his word.
I give him a timid smile and say, “I believe I can do that.”
He graces me with his own smile and reaches down to leave a simple kiss on my lips. My grin widens.
It’s hard to believe I can smile after the phone call I received tonight, but I blame it all on Jaxon. He makes me feel different. Happy. More confident. Relaxed. He brings light into my dreary life.
Jaxon reaches down and scoops me up into his arms. The move is so sudden I let out a loud yelp and throw my arms around his neck. He isn’t fazed by my yelp and chuckles, while carrying me down the hallway.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
He doesn’t set me down until we reach the bed. He gently lays me down in the middle and then reaches for the comforter. I’m forced to lift myself so he can pull it back. He sits down to pull off his boots. I lie on my side, huddled into a ball, and watch him. Getting up, he takes his jacket off and sets it on the end of the bed.
Tonight he’s wearing his standard black shirt and ripped jeans.
Jaxon sits back on the bed and lies down, bringing the covers up with him. I have to admit I’m a little disappointed that he didn’t remove his shirt.
He rolls toward me and opens his arms. “Come here, angel,” he says softly.
Hesitantly, I scoot over to him. He puts his arm around me and maneuvers me until my back is to his front. Once that’s done, he has one arm wrapped around my middle with his hand tucked under my side. The arm I’m lying on goes around my neck and lies diagonally across my chest, his hand resting on top of my arm. He buries his face in my hair and takes a deep breath. I’m completely wrapped in Jaxon. I thought I would be nervous and a little uncomfortable lying in bed with him, but it’s the opposite. I love it.
He releases a sigh. “Thank you. I’ve wanted to hold you like this for a while now.” He shifts slightly to bend his knees, bringing mine up as well.
“Is black the only color t-shirts you wear?” I ask him curiously.
He laughs lightly in my ear before replying. “I never really thought about it before, but I guess it is. I’m a guy; when I shop for clothes, I don’t stop to think about what looks good. I just pick up the first thing I see that’ll fit. I suppose what I always see first is black.”
“Hmm… I think I like you in black.” I try to stifle a yawn, but it manages to escape.
Jaxon places a soft lingering kiss on the back of my neck and it causes shivers to go throughout my body.
“Sleep, angel.”
“Okay, Jaxon,” I respond quietly, already halfway there.
