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Jaxon rubs his thumb lightly across my skin below my breast. It causes goose bumps to pop up all over my skin. The fingers of his other hand send light trails over my lower back.
I gingerly start placing small kisses right over his heart, which causes it to speed up. I feel it thumping against my lips. After a few pecks with just my lips, I reach out hesitantly with my tongue and start using it as well to kiss him. The fingers running along my back stop.
“Angel, what are you doing?” Jaxon asks me on a groan.
“Kissing your beautiful chest,” I answer him while peppering more kisses along his right pec.
Jaxon puts his hand in my hair and gently pulls my head back so I have to look at him. His eyes are flaring with desire.
“A man can only take so much. I would never ever force you, but you’ve got to know how hard it is to hold back with you. I’ve wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. It seems all I think about is being inside of you. In light of everything you’ve told me tonight, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be doing this.”
I pull my arm from around him and run my fingers down his cheek and across if lips. “You’re wrong, Jaxon. I think now is the perfect time. For the first time in my life, I feel free and safe. You make me feel this way. You once told me that I would be ready when I knew deep down that you would never hurt me. Well, I know. I know. Deep inside here—” I take his hand and place it over my heart. “—that you would do anything to keep me from harm.”
What I say is true. I know in my heart that Jaxon would give his life for mine, and although I would never let that happen, the thought brings me to the realization that I want Jaxon more than I fear my reaction of being with him. Telling him what I’ve been through is liberating and I feel with that out of the way I can let go and give my whole self to him.
Jaxon lifts up on an elbow so he towers over me from above.
“You’re right. I would do anything, say anything, give anything to keep you safe. The thought of him hurting you makes me want to drive my head through the wall.” The fierceness in his voice doesn’t scare me, it makes me feel loved. Yes, loved. I don’t know if what he feels for me is love, but either way I feel it. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before, aside from Chris.
“Show me, Jaxon. Show me what making love should be like. Make me forget all the bad, and replace it with good.”
Jaxon stares at me for a few seconds, gauging my sincerity, I imagine, before swooping down and kissing the life out of me. I open my mouth immediately to tangle my tongue with his. This kiss is different from any other we’ve shared. It’s possessive, carnal, and passionate, all wrapped up into one. It’s doesn’t scare me like it would have a few weeks ago.
The hand that’s still in my hair twists to put my head at a better angle for his kiss. He nips at my bottom lip and then runs his tongue over it to soothe it. Making his way across my cheek, he pauses to take my earlobe into his mouth.
“Tell me if it’s too much. Promise me,” he whispers in my ear.
“I will, I promise.” I angle my head to the side to give him better access, wanting more.
He trails kisses down my neck, nipping and soothing along the way. His hand that was tangled in my hair travels down the back of my neck, then my back, and rests on my butt. He pulls me closer to him, and I feel him hard against my core. I suck in a quick breath at the pleasure of feeling him against me. The knowledge that I do that to him excites me and gives me courage
Jaxon hears the hitch in my breath and relaxes his hand, letting me fall back a little. The arm I placed back around him clutches him more tightly, bringing him back in.
“No, don’t stop.”
I hear Jaxon groan against my neck. He moves his hand down my backside to the back of my thigh. He grips it and pulls my leg farther up his hip. My most sensitive area is now flush against his upper thigh, and I grind down on it, needing to feel more of him. I feel myself getting wet, and I know that through my thin piece of clothing I’m getting his shorts wet as well.
“Oh Jaxon,” I moan, and dig my nails into his back.
“Fuck, angel,” he hisses. “I can feel it. You’re already so wet for me.”
This spurs him on and he pushes me to my back and settles himself between my thighs. He’s sitting back on his legs. With my legs on either side of him resting on his, I’m somewhat open and exposed to him, even though I’m still wearing my clothes.
Jaxon watches me with steel-blue eyes as he runs his hands slowly up my calves and thighs. When he reaches my stomach, his fingers dip underneath my tank top. He moves them to my sides. With slow movements, his hands continue their upward motion, bringing my shirt along with him.
I halt his movements by placing my hands on his.
“Angel, we don’t—” he starts, but I stop him before he can finish.
I shake my head and say, “No, it’s not that. I don’t want you to stop. I just…” I stop because I don’t know what to say. How do you tell a man that your body is riddled with ugly marks?
Taking a deep breath, I haltingly try to explain. “Steven… H-he liked to… mark me. I’ve got… scars. A lot of them. They aren’t pretty. I want to warn you before you see them for yourself.”
As I talk I see pure rage enter Jaxon’s face. After closing his eyes and breathing deeply a few times he opens them again and the rage is gone, replaced with a soft understanding look.
“Baby, no matter how many scars you have you could never look anything but beautiful to me.”
His words touch a place inside me that allows me to let go of some of my insecurities. His words are pure, and I believe them.
