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In an attempt to change the subject, I tell her about my new job. “I found a job last night. I start today at three o’clock.”
“Oh, wow! That was fast. What will you be doing?” she asks.
This is the tricky part. I know she won’t approve of me working in a rough bar. Chris loves me, but she considers me weak when it comes to men. I can’t really blame her. All the men in my life up to this point have been abusive. Bars such as Jaxon’s Pub tend to attract men that have perpetual attitude problems and domineering ways. In Chris’s eyes, working there will be asking for trouble. Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice. and Chris will just have to understand that.
I find it best to just blurt it out and get it over with.
“I’ll be bartending at a local bar here. The first week will be a trial run to see how well I do.”
And as expected, she starts her protest.
“Are you sure you’re up for that? I mean, I know you’ve tended bar in the past, but working in an actual bar is completely different than working in a restaurant. Men tend to get rambunctious and loose with their tongues and hands when they’ve had a few drinks. I just don’t see you handling it very well if some drunk decides he wants you as his plaything.”
Unfortunately, I have to agree with her. I probably won’t handle it very well if some guy starts putting his hands on me. I can’t even keep it together after one of my dreams. I can only imagine how I will freak out if some drunk touches me. Doubts start swirling in my head. Did I make the right choice? Is me working in a bar really a smart decision? Can I force myself to keep it together if someone comes on to me? It’s bound to happen. I may not be the prettiest girl, but when men get drunk, their libidos don’t really care what a woman looks like. For many men, they don’t even care if a woman is willing or not.
Even though these thoughts are running rampant through my head, the fact remains that I don’t have a choice. Not if I want to stay one step ahead of Steven. And that’s one thing I’m desperate to do, even if I do have to come to terms with men looking, flirting, and touching me. As long as the touching doesn’t get out of hand. Jaxon said he tries to keep the peace, and I have to trust that he’s a good businessman.
Coming back to the conversation with Chris, I tell her, “I don’t really have a choice, do I? I’m almost out of money, and I have no way of coming up with more. I don’t even have enough for gas to go to the next town. As it is, I’m staying in my car until I can afford a temporary place. I don’t want to work there, but life is full of things we don’t want.”
“Maybe I can come up—” she starts, but I don’t let her finish.
“No!”
I knew she would try to offer more money, but there’s no way I can accept it. She’s done so much for me already. The guilt I feel for all the help she’s given eats at me. There’s no way I can repay her for everything she has done. Although we’re friends, I still feel indebted to her.
“I really appreciate the offer, Chris, but you’ve given me enough already. I need to try to do this on my own. If I get to the point where I really need it, I’ll ask. I’m not at that point, yet. Hopefully, I never will be.”
“Okay, Bailey. I’ll leave it for now. But please, let me know if you need more money. I’ll come up with it somehow. You know I love you and would do anything for you.”
Tears sting my eyes at her words. God, what did I ever do to deserve this woman? “I know you do, and I love you, too,” I whisper.
After I promise to call her tonight and we say our goodbyes, I decide to explore the town. I figure it would be best to know where everything is since I’ll be staying awhile. My first stop is a gas station, where I hope there’s a public restroom so I can change and freshen up.
Grabbing some clothes and my toiletries, I stuff them into my backpack and get out of my car. I lock my door and pocket the keys. The town is so small that you can park just about anywhere and still be in walking distance to all the little businesses.
The sign out front of the gas station says, “Evelyn’s Market.” When I make it inside, I notice that it’s not only a gas station but also a deli and mini grocery store. There are several cases that hold hot and cold deli items and several aisles with shelves full of canned goods, dry foods, boxed foods, and your everyday staples.
In the far back, hanging from the ceiling, is a big sign that announces a public restroom. With a sigh of relief, I head to the back of the store.
Once I enter the bathroom, I go straight to the last stall. Luckily, it’s a handicapped stall that’s big and has its own sink. I immediately strip off my clothes. Wetting the washcloth I brought with me, I commence giving myself an old-fashioned “whore’s bath.” Once done, I pull on a fresh pair of panties, a bra, jeans with holes in the knees, and a Walking Dead t-shirt. After slapping on some deodorant and brushing my teeth, I flip my hair over the sink and wash it. I dry it the best I can with my hand towel. After brushing my hair, I feel almost normal again. I’m as fresh as I can be without taking an actual bath.
Coming out of the restroom, I decide to wait on getting something to eat until right before I’m due to be at Jaxon’s Pub. I don’t know how long the job will last, so I need to conserve the money I have, just in case it doesn’t work out.
On my way back to the library, there’s a volunteer fire station on a side street. Across from the fire station is the Jaded Hollow Police Department. Good to know where that is, I think to myself. Every town I stop in I always look for the police station, just in case. On another side street, I there’s a tall building that says it’s an elementary, middle, and high school combined.
After dropping my backpack off at my car, the entrance to the library calls my name. It’s one of the smallest libraries I’ve ever seen.
Pulling my book out of my purse, I sit at one of the tables placed strategically throughout the library. I discovered a new passion when I hit the road—I absolutely adore reading romance books. During one of my stops at the beginning of my trip, I stumbled across a library that was giving books away. All you had to do was make a donation. In an attempt to keep myself occupied when I wasn’t driving, I picked out two books and donated two dollars. Those two books were lifesavers. I’ve picked up several more since then at thrift stores. Now, I’m completely addicted to reading how others get their happily-ever-after. I know it’s fake, but if I can’t have it in real life, I can at least enjoy it in fiction. My current story is about a couple who has been together since high school. The man and woman have teenage kids now. The hero of the story gets kidnapped and tortured while doing a tour overseas. Throughout the book, it shows glimpses of the couple’s life together. It may sound like it won’t end well, but I know it does. I always peek at the end of a book, just to make sure. I only read books that have happy endings. I’m already living a life that will have a terrible ending. I don’t want to read about bad endings as well.
I’m so caught up in my book that I don’t realize how late it’s getting. I glance at my phone and shoot up out of my chair. It’s already two-thirty! Crap! Thank God the town’s small, or I would never make it in time for my first day of work.
I reluctantly stuff my book back in my purse and make my way toward the exit. On my way out the door, I notice a small shelf of books. On top of the shelf is a box that has a sign on top of it. It advertises free books with a donation. Pulling out four precious quarters, I drop them in the box and pick out a book. I’m almost finished with my current read and it’s my last one. I know I shouldn’t spend the money, even though it is only a dollar, but I need the relief and release the books give me. After carefully putting the book away in my purse, I make my way out the door and quickly walk the couple of blocks back to my car.
4
I PURPOSELY WEAR MY hair down, hoping that no one will say anything. I know Jaxon told me I had to wear it up, but until he or Mia tells me again, I’m leaving it down. I’ve come to realize that I can be stubborn when I want.
I pull my car around the back of the bar, where I’m assuming employees park. There’s a little black four-door Audi A4 and a black motorcycle already sitting in two parking spaces. I park my car beside the Audi, shut it off, and get out. After locking my door, I dump my keys in my purse and make my way to the front of the building. I tried the door in the back, but apparently it locks from the inside.
