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“I meant every word I said about that, but if I…” he pauses, losing a bit of the calm in his voice. “This is about more than just you and me. I can’t let myself get too…”
“Too what?” I ask, annoyed.
“Attached, again,” he says, finding the word. “If I get close to you, I’ll get distracted, and then something could happen to you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if it did.”
I gesture at the bandage on my cheek. “Yeah, because staying away from me has worked out just fine so far, right? I was perfectly safe without you around, right?”
“Dani, you and me… it’s a mistake. Always was.”
I give up my search for clothes and turn to face him again. “A mistake?” I repeat. “You and me?”
“Yes,” he says.
My throat tightens. “Is that why you abandoned me?”
He blinks. “I didn’t abandon you.”
“I called you… a hundred times,” I say, my voice breaking. “I texted you even more. I sent emails. Not one reply. We spent one night together, and I never saw you again.”
My lip trembles and Fox looks up, finally showing a little pain in his eyes.
“Bennett said—”
“I don’t care what my dad said! You should have stayed. You should have fought for us. For me!”
“I couldn’t do that.”
I walk forward and I don’t stop until I’m right in front of him. “Do you have any idea what that does to a girl? Was I not worth a goodbye?”
“Dani, I’m sorry—”
“It was easier to break a girl’s heart than it was to answer a fucking email?!” I lose control and shove him, but his back is already to the wall. “I needed you, Fox! You left me and I had nothing!”
I push him again, but he quickly grabs my wrists and pulls me against him.
“I left you and you have everything now,” he says. “Can’t you see that? You’re Roxie fucking Roberts, Dani. Every move you make is on display. You’re nitpicked and judged for everything you do. That includes this. This is bad for you. I am bad for you. I don’t belong in your world. I never have. That’s why I left.”
Tears spill down my cheeks. “Then, why the hell did you come back?”
“Because I’d rather live in a world with you in it than suffer the alternative.”
He releases my wrists and walks around me, putting several purposeful feet of distance between us.
“Do you have any idea how lonely it is to be Roxie fucking Roberts?” I ask, bile rising in my throat. “I’m surrounded by people all the time, but they aren’t looking at me. They’re looking at my dress or my hair or my damn waistline. They don’t care about who I am or what I think. No one ever has… except for you. Or so I thought.”
He closes his eyes. “Dani—”
“If we’re going to start talking about suffering alternatives… then, I think that maybe you should have stayed dead.” He opens his eyes again, showing an even harder sadness. “You should have let me die. At least then I would have felt that instead of this.”
“You don’t mean that,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
“What difference does it make? It’s not like I’m irreplaceable. In a few years, there will be some other girl, one who’s younger and prettier for everyone to nitpick and judge. No one will even remember my name.”
“I will.”
I scoff and wipe my eyes. “It’s a nice sentiment, Fox, but you’ve already missed your chance to get in my pants again.”
I bolt toward the bathroom and Fox reaches for me as I pass him.
