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He shifts closer. My heart starts beating fast, but I don’t move. “I’m getting used to it too.”
I want him. I need that night back. Not only for the sex—but definitely for that too—but for the intimacy we had. That night was so easy. We fucked, kissed, laughed, made out, fucked some more, and everything was comfortable. Now there’s like a gauze between us, a thick webbing holding us apart. I don’t know how to break through it, and I’m not sure things would be better if I did, but at least they’d be simpler.
I turn my back to him. If I don’t, I’m going to let him touch me, and we both know that’ll only complicate things. I’m just not ready.
I feel him looking at me. If he reaches out and brushes his fingers across my skin, he’d feel goosebumps. If he cupped my breasts, he’d know my nipples are rock hard. If his fingers slid down between my legs?—
But he does none of that, and I don’t ask him to.
Chapter 13
Saul
I can’t get anything done. I spend all morning staring out the window of my office in the Rossi mansion watching butterflies flit between bushes.
I should have done more last night. Molly’s having a hard time coming to grips with our situation and she really thinks I’m hiding her because I’m ashamed of her. Shame has nothing to do with it—I’d be proud to have her on my arm.
I’m keeping her to myself because my family wouldn’t be able to accept her, not right now, and I’m in this for the long run. I want to introduce her when it makes more sense, when my soldiers and my brothers won’t flip the fuck out.
She can’t see that though, and I need to find a way to make her understand.
I finish my fourth cup of coffee and stretch. I’m fucking exhausted. I wasn’t able to sleep much. I was awake half the night listening to her breathing, and there were a thousand times that I wanted to reach out and wake her up, to kiss her, to press her into the mattress and feel her squirm beneath me, but I have a surprising reserve of willpower available. I resisted, and now I wish I hadn’t.
Fuck, I want that night back. When things were simple. Only I’ll have to earn it if I’m ever going to taste her that way again, and I’m determined to make it work.
I get up and leave my office to get a coffee refill. Before I reach the kitchen, Dante steps out from one of the many side rooms and strides over with a determined scowl. I almost roll my eyes—I’ve managed to avoid him for a few days, but my luck was bound to run out eventually.
“Renzo said you were working from here today,” he says, nodding once at me. “We need to talk.”
“What can I do for my brother’s best friend and bag man?”
He scowls and props himself against the wall. “Don’t call me that. And you know damn well what I want to talk about.”
I work my jaw. Dante is loyal to the Rossi Famiglia and one of our best soldiers. He’s Renzo’s closest friend, and even though I’m technically his boss, since only the Don is higher than me in the organization, that doesn’t seem to matter to him. Dante thinks he can do and say whatever the fuck he wants.
“Honestly, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today.” I move to walk past him, but he shakes his head.
“I’m not surprised. I bet it’s hard work hiding a relationship from the family.”
I go very still and resist the urge to look around. The hall’s empty and nobody’s close enough to overhear, but what Dante’s saying could land me in deep shit. I turn and stare at him.
“Why the fuck do you think I’m hiding anything?”
“You were seen.” His face is passive like he’s talking about the weather. “More than once.”
My brain works. How the hell was I spotted? I’ve been careful—taking back roads, making sure nobody was tailing me—but clearly not careful enough. Or maybe he’s bluffing and this is his way of shaking me down.
“You should reconsider where you get your information from.”
Dante grunts and shakes his head. “Don’t try to play it that way, Saul. I’m not here to blow up your spot. I don’t really give a shit who you’re fucking, but we both know why it’s a problem.”
My voice drops. He doesn’t know the extent of my relationship yet. That’s good. “I’m handling it.”
“Handle it less with your dick then.”
My jaw tightens. I want to break his fucking nose for saying that about my fiancée. “Watch your mouth.”
He sighs. “Believe it or not, I’m looking out for you right now. I’ve made excuses already and everyone’s keeping their mouths shut, but I can’t promise that’ll last forever. If you’re seen around town with an Irish girl again?—”
