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“I don’t know which I want,” I admit as we start walking again. “I guess I want a heathy baby? Saul doesn’t want to find out.”
“Seriously? He’s not even a little bit curious?”
“Nope,” I say with a shrug. “Not at all, and I’m respecting his wishes.”
“That’s a choice, I guess. What about you? What do you know?”
“Uh—” I say, hesitating. Saul doesn’t know it, but I asked a nurse after our last ultrasound when he wasn’t in the room, and she told me the sex. I’ve been hiding that I know from him ever since.
“You know.”
“I, uh, I mean?—”
Allegra laughs, clearly delighted, and waves a hand. “It’s okay. I won’t make you admit it.”
Life’s been good. Weird, stressful, but good. Ever since Saul and Renzo made up, and Saul was appointed back to his underboss position, we’ve been spending a lot of time at the house. I’m practically here all day long when I’m not working or at Nana’s place. The Russians are keeping the boys busy, and the tension levels are high.
I can tell Maddie hates it. We all hate it, but she loathes the war most of all. I hear her arguing with Renzo, never loudly, never angrily, but practically begging him to stop the fighting. He won’t ever do it, even though it’s obviously hindering his recovery.
We reach the back steps and Allegra leaves me there to go help Maddie do some gardening. I go inside to get something to drink and find the Don himself in the kitchen, limping along with a cane. He looks ten years older, but from what I understand, his survival is a minor miracle. Whatever Dante did to keep him alive, his sacrifice paid off.
“Your husband is a pain in my fucking ass,” he says as I grab a seltzer from the fridge.
“Yeah? I bet that cuts both ways.” I crack it open.
He grins at me. “I liked you better when I didn’t know about you.”
“Liar. I bring levity and joy to this family.”
He grunts and leans against the counter. “Seriously, Molly, talk sense to him. The man can’t keep leading raids. He’s my fucking underboss.”
That gets my attention. “He’s doing what?”
Renzo grimaces. “You didn’t know.”
“No, I didn’t know.”
“Fuck.” He rubs his face. “Well, now you do. Saul and Carlo have been leading raids against the Russians together. I want them to leave that shit to the soldiers. Talk sense into your man.”
“Don’t worry,” I say, already turning toward the stairs. “I will.”
“And don’t kill him, please,” Renzo calls after me.
But unfortunately, Saul is already dead.
I find my deceased husband in his office looking out the window. He starts when I step into the room. For a corpse, he looks amazing, and I’m always struck by how much I still want him.
Except he’s dead, and I don’t bang zombies.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, eyebrows raised.
“Saul Rossi, you’ve been lying to me.”
He leans back and crosses his arms. “I have?”
“Renzo just told me. The gig is fucking up, douchebag.” I slam the door behind me. “You’ve been leading raids.”
He sighs and looks at the ceiling. “It’s fine.”
