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I closed the door and wandered through the apartment, trying to find a sense of returning home, but there was nothing. This wasn’t home anymore, it was just a collection of rooms. At least the hotel had memories of Arlo connected to them, but here, there was only an echo of who I used to be. It didn’t feel right. I wasn’t the man I was when I left, and this was no longer what I needed.
Why did I ever think I needed such a lavish home when I didn’t even live in it half the time? I thought of Arlo’s reaction to the clothes I’d bought him, and that first extravagant meal. He’d been appalled by the waste, and now, I had to admit I could see his point.
On a whim, I decided to put my condo on the market. I justified that with my income and career now in limbo, it was definitely time to make some cutbacks, but it was more than that. I wanted to be someone Arlo would be proud of. Someone who appreciated what they had every single day.
I flopped back across my bed, staring up at the mirror I’d had mounted on the ceiling, and I didn’t like what I saw. I was entitled and conceited, lonely and broken. But that could all change if I wanted it to. Tugging the tie back out of my pocket and threading it through my fingers, I asked myself, WWAD?
What would Arlo do?
17
Arlo
Such an insignificant thing, a line, but when there were two of them, and they happened to be on a pregnancy test, suddenly they had the power to change my whole world.
“Fuck.” I should probably learn not to swear.
I sat perched on the toilet seat, hiding in a stall in the bathroom at The Bar Cherry, and I couldn’t tell if the pounding in my ears was from the club’s music or my heart. It felt like I was having a heart attack the way my pulse was racing, my chest aching with the rising panic. There was no way this was happening. I was on suppressants! I took the damn pill at the same exact time every day, and I even made sure I didn’t drink coffee within an hour, because I knew that could make them less effective. I was careful… sort of. I mean, I suppose we could’ve used condoms, but…
“Fuck,” I swore again for good measure, but strangely enough, it did absolutely nothing to change the situation.
My leg bounced as I thought about my dwindling bank balance. Yes, Max had paid me well to pose as his fiancé, but that money would only last so long, and babies weren’t cheap. I was just lucky that Chance was a sucker for giving a hand to helpless omegas like me. He’d given back my job without any hesitation, and he even did his best to keep his pity to a minimum. He gave my shoulder a quick squeeze then said, “You can start with table nine.” The bouncers also worked hard at keeping the stray paparazzi out, though even weeks later, I still drew some unwanted attention from Max Shepherd fans.
The bathroom door opened, the music swelling in volume, before closing again, footsteps heading into the stall next to me. I held my breath, trying not to sniffle while waiting for them to leave.
“Well?” Cass said through the wall while peeing.
“Well what?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level, but I wasn’t fooling anyone. Cass was not only my roommate but also my best friend. There were no secrets between us. He was the one person I’d told about the deal Max and I made, and he knew exactly how many nights I’d spent in Max’s bed. When it was over, he’d dried my tears, and he’d absolutely heard me puking every morning this week.
“Did you pee on the stick yet?”
I choked on a sob, laughing. Because of course he knew that too. “Yeah… two lines.”
Cass didn’t say anything right away, just flushed the toilet and went to wash his hands. Then I saw his killer shoes appear in the gap below the stall door. “Open the door, Arlo,” he said.
I reached up and flipped the latch, and he pushed the door open slowly. I could tell he was trying to hold his face still. “Are you okay?”
Pasting my lips into a thin smile, I nodded, but then the tears spilled over. “No,” I admitted. My entire body shook with my sobs, streams of tears spilling down my cheeks.
“Hey, sweetie,” he murmured, wedging himself into the stall with me to wrap his arms around my shoulders as I took heaving breaths. “It’ll be okay.”
“How?!” I wailed. “How will it be okay? I’ll start showing in a couple months, and then I won’t be able to work here anymore, and without the paycheck, I’ll be screwed. I won’t be able to afford food or rent, Gran will be kicked out of the home. Don’t tell me you plan to take care of us. You make a decent amount of money, but not that much, and I have no intention of mooching off you.”
Cass crouched down in front of me and tipped my face up with a finger under my chin. “Not me. You are going to call that alpha of yours and tell him you’re pregnant. He’ll support you.”
I tugged on the chain around my neck, my engagement ring threaded onto it. He’d never asked for it back, and I hadn’t found the strength to return it. It felt too monumental, like I was giving up on Max. It was the last piece of him I had… or I thought it was, anyway. I placed my palm over my still-flat stomach.
“I know Max would give me money for the baby, but… what if he thinks I got pregnant on purpose, to trap him?”
“Then he doesn’t know you like I do.”
But I knew that wasn’t true. Max knew me better than I knew myself.
The next day was Sunday, and for the first time since Gran had moved into Golden Years, I was dreading the idea of going to visit her. I’d been avoiding Gran. I hadn’t been for a visit since before the article about me was published, and it made me feel like shit, but I hadn’t found the courage to tell her the truth yet. She’d seen the stories, because of course she had, and was no doubt wondering what the hell was going on, but I wouldn’t know for sure because I hadn’t been answering her phone calls either. She’d even had Drew send me a text, so I knew she was getting worried.
There was no other option. I had to suck it up and face the music. Gran deserved to know the truth. All of it.
When I stopped at Crave as usual, I ordered an entire box of nothing but jelly donuts. Maybe the rampage it induced would distract everyone from me. Reluctantly, I drove to Golden Years half in a daze.
