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“Mom, you live 3000 miles away.”
“And yet here I am,” she said primly. “Arlo is my future son-in-law and is carrying my grandchild. This is important.”
I felt chastised, and I sighed, looking out the window. I didn’t like hurting her feelings, but there was one other important matter. “Mom… you know where the shower is being held… right? At a strip club?” I asked awkwardly. I didn’t want to have this conversation with her.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a prude, Max. I went to college. I saw things, I did things.”
“Ew,” I said, wincing. “We’re not having that conversation.”
Just in time, we pulled up in the parking lot behind The Bar Cherry. The lot was full, which would be super obvious that something was going on, but Cass had promised he would park out front so Arlo wouldn’t get suspicious. Inside, we found the place was packed. All the performers were here, as well as Arlo’s gran, and oh goody, Chance.
“Ohh, he’s a handsome one,” my mom said, nudging her elbow into my ribs. “That’s Arlo’s boss?”
“Don’t remind me,” I grumbled. I couldn’t tie the knot with Arlo fast enough.
Sarah waved us over, and my mom greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. “You’re late! Cass just texted to say they were on their way.”
Sure enough, just a couple minutes later, Kevin hissed that they’d pulled up out front, and we turned off the lights.
The door opened, cutting a square of light into the darkness, framing Arlo’s silhouette. “My brain is way too foggy to do math right now,” he was saying to Cass. “I’m gonna need someone to double-check all the paperwork before I send it in.”
Suddenly, all the lights came on, and we yelled, “Surprise!”
Arlo froze, his hands coming up to wrap around his belly instinctively. Shit, maybe we shouldn’t have surprised him. I didn’t want to induce labor by accident. His eyes panned across the room, all his friends, the table of wrapped presents, and then they finally came to rest on me. “Max,” he sighed. “You’re here.”
“Surprise,” I said again lamely. “It’s a baby shower.”
Cass stepped up on Arlo’s right. “Actually, it’s a combination baby-slash-wedding shower. Surprise to you too, Max.” He winked.
“Does that mean I don’t have to do tax paperwork?” Arlo asked hopefully.
Chance laughed. “You’re in the clear.” I nearly growled as he put his arm around Arlo and gave him a little squeeze. “Come and sit down—both of you,” he said, including me.
I’d never heard of a baby/wedding shower, so I had no clue what to expect. But considering our location and the fact that Arlo’s friends were all in the adult entertainment industry, I guess I should’ve anticipated the types of gifts we would receive. Everyone had bought two presents, the first being wrapped in adorable wrapping paper with ribbons and a distinct baby theme, while the other was… not. It was an odd mix of cute and totally inappropriate, and somehow, it worked.
Cass handed over his gifts. “Open mine next!”
Arlo looked at his gran nervously, but she was being surprisingly chill about the whole thing. My mom, seated beside her, was keeping her word and showing zero judgment, although she hadn’t met my eyes in twenty minutes. Arlo peeked into the bag and quickly closed it again. “Nope. Not opening that.”
“Oh, come on,” Cass teased, stealing the bag from him to show everyone what he bought. “It’s for all those sexy video chats when Max is away.” He pulled out a knotting dildo and waved it around, and everyone jeered and heckled us.
I covered my face with my hands, my skin burning with a blush. This was exactly why I hadn’t invited my mom.
The embarrassment only got worse when Arlo opened the gifts from his gran—an adorable onesie… and wrist cuffs and a blindfold. “Gran!” Arlo gasped, totally aghast, but he couldn’t hold back his laugh.
She just shrugged. “What? There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Seriously,” I muttered to Arlo, “is there anyone who doesn’t know the details of our sex life?”
“Not anymore,” he whispered back, wiping away his tears of laughter.
Arlo’s stupid boss came next. “My turn. For the baby…” he said, producing the biggest damn stuffed teddy bear I’d ever seen from the back room.
“Aww, thank you, Chance,” Arlo gushed, hugging the massive bear.
“And this is for you—both of you—” he said, giving me a nod, handing over an envelope. “Your honeymoon is on me.”
I grudgingly opened the envelope and pulled out a brochure to an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. “Paradise Isle? This is too much,” I said, trying to pass it back.
