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But if I turn down the trust fund, the money reverts to my mother, and I won’t give my father the satisfaction.
The line moves along with the morning rush and it’s finally my turn. I order a breakfast burrito with double protein, a full order of hashbrowns, a yogurt parfait and a sticky bun… and a dirty chai for Penelope. This time, it’s not Chloe taking the orders; it’s the woman who was making the drinks the first time I bought Penelope her drink while she was in the coffee shop with me. I think her name is Mary.
I don’t have to be on alert that she’s going to give me a secret message on Penelope’s drink like Chloe did.
I walk over to the pick-up window and wait for my order and then I pull up my email to respond back.
From: WinTheDay067
To: SkatrGirlPen
Pen,
I know you deserve an explanation, and someday I’ll give you one. Just know that breaking off communication with you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I’m sorry.
And no… there’s never been anyone else.
Only you.
That last sentence was more than I should have admitted.
There’s a significant possibility that what I just admitted is going to blow up in my face, but after holding onto those words for over four years, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Even if the person I want her to hear it from is Slade and not Win.
The trouble is, she won’t accept those words from the real me… even though, in reality, they’re both me.
The fuck-up she knows me as who can’t seem to do anything right when she’s involved. And the pen pal who’s the man I want to be for her.
I’m both.
But when she finds out, will she accept both?
My order number is called, and I grab the items off the pickup window and then head for the stadium.
I get there right as Penelope takes to the ice.
It’s almost painful to watch someone with so much talent practically float across the ice with pure elegance and then notice the portions in her routine where it’s obvious a lift or spin with a partner should be, and she has to skate through the void.
In college, on occasion, I’d catch her out on the ice if I showed up late on weekdays and early for practice. I kept my distance like I was supposed to and she never knew I watched her skate, even back then.
Brent’s question comes back to my mind. Why didn’t she find someone else to skate with? There had to have been someone she could have found off-campus who hadn’t heard the rumors… or maybe someone who just didn’t care.
I wonder why she isn’t skating with her old partner again. Last I heard, he started skating with a new partner a year after his accident.
I pull out my phone and start recording her routine from start to end as I polish off the last of my breakfast burrito.
I need to fix what I broke and earn back her trust if I want a shot at her finally forgiving me.
I’ll never be good enough to compete in competitions with her. All I can do is try to give her someone to skate with.
It’s not a lot but I hope it’s enough.
A message from her comes back in response.
From: SkatrGirlPen
To: WinTheDay067
Win,
