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“Not well,” he quickly assured her.
“Me either. I’ve thought about taking lessons but I’m a terrible loser.”
“Are you a good winner?”
“Isn’t everyone?” Hallie smiled, then returned to her place on the couch and her open laptop.
Caden shook his head. “Definitely not.” There were too many people who never felt like they had enough. Who just wanted more and more, no matter how much they won in life. Caden had been one of those people. Always chasing the next big case. The next promotion. Then he met Hallie, and suddenly, it was like he finally had enough. She was enough. More than enough. He was ready to take his winnings and walk away, as long as she was by his side. He still wanted his career as an FBI Agent, he was just done letting the badge control his life, and take from him the way it had for years.
He sat next to her on the couch, wanting to touch her, to kiss her lips that now glistened pink with the lip gloss she must’ve put on before he arrived. But she was busy and he respected her time and her work too much to get in the way of it. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and lost a game of chess while Hallie finished her tax forms.
As soon as she was done, she looked up at him with a bright smile. “What’s next?” she asked, putting her laptop on the coffee table.
Without really thinking about it, Caden leaned over and kissed her, taking what he’d been thinking about since she’d first opened the door. He delved into her mouth and nearly forgot there was a world outside of it as he surrendered to her sweet tanginess, playfully chasing her tongue with his until they were both moaning in sheer pleasure and desire.
He pulled back until their lips just barely touched, and stared into her eyes seeing every fleck of gold in those stunning green eyes that glistened in the bright rays of sun coming through the large window like perfect emeralds. His hand came up to stroke her cheek, as his thumb brushed across her jawline. His mouth followed, pressing soft kisses along the curve of her neck. She arched into him, and he held her closer. He never wanted to let her go. Never wanted a day to go by without her in his life. In his arms.
She’d dug her way so thoroughly into his heart, he had no idea where he ended and she began. “You’re so beautiful, Hales,” he breathed, nuzzling into the side of her neck, drawing strength from her flowery scent,
“We should probably start getting ready to leave. We both still need to change.”
No, he didn’t want to leave her arms. Didn’t want to separate from her. She was so warm and soft against him. Caden let out a sigh.
“Are you sure you want to go?” She asked, meeting his gaze with hooded eyes. “We don’t have to if it’s too hard for you.” She cupped his cheek and he leaned into her touch, seeking the comfort she so generously offered. She couldn’t possibly know how affected he was by her.
“I want to go with you.” His voice cracked, but after what they’d shared last night, being vulnerable with her felt good. “I’d go anywhere with you.”
Chapter 21
The last funeral Hallie attended was her nana’s, and Hallie was eight at the time - the age when the reality of things like Heaven and Santa Claus had a direct correlation to the conviction of the people who told her about them.
She sat in the pews of the large church next to Caden as people who knew the late Steven Beeker spoke about his many wonderful qualities as both a loved one, and a Special Agent of the FBI.
It wasn’t until a heavily pregnant woman stepped up to the podium and said she was Lori Beeker, Steven’s wife, that Hallie felt the burning of tears in the back of her eyes. Caden had mentioned the man’s wife was pregnant, but somehow seeing her standing up there, so alone, with her heavily protruding belly, made it real.
Hallie couldn’t imagine being in her shoes. Without even thinking about it, she looked up at Caden and their eyes met. It was like they were both thinking the same thing. This could be them one day. The thought was so painful, Hallie looked away, blinking back tears, and forcing herself to focus on Steven’s wife.
“...Steven and I were together for seven years, married for five of them, and now we are...expecting a little girl in just two short months. He was so excited to have a daughter. He couldn’t wait for our home to be filled with all things pink and glitter. Most men, most people, hate glitter, but not my Steven. He wanted our daughter to have everything, and he said we would start with glitter because it’s so affordable and goes a long way.” The woman offered a forced smile, and it felt like everyone took a breath.
The corners of Hallie’s mouth lifted almost imperceptibly. Lori seemed so nice. So normal. And now she stood there, in front of at least two hundred people, bearing her soul, only to go home tonight, alone, with a baby that would forever be a constant reminder of the man she had loved and lost.
Hallie swiped at the moisture on her face, but kept her eyes forward, not wanting to draw attention to herself. Not wanting Caden to see how this was affecting her. She was here for him, to be his rock to lean on. She wasn’t supposed to be crying over someone she’d never even met.
A strong arm wrapped around her, and Caden’s aftershave wafted into her nostrils as he leaned into her, his soft puff of breath brushing against her cheek. “Are you okay?” He whispered.
She nodded quickly, and tried to push him away in a lame attempt to show her strength and resolve to be his rock, but he held her closer to him, one arm around her, while his other hand covered her two hands that she’d been keeping on her lap folded together.
“This is why I hate funerals. They’re too damn sad, and you’ve gone through enough the last few weeks. I’m sorry I asked you to come with me.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t ask, I offered. And whatever I went through, I didn’t lose my husband or the father of my child. It’s actually really beautiful that so many people are here. Hearing them talk about Steven, what they’re saying, it makes you realize what’s really important in life. Those little things that people remember you for.”
Caden’s grip on her hands tightened a little. “Like glitter.”
She smiled. Like glitter. “Are you doing okay?”
He sighed, his breath catching in the loose strands of her hairs, blowing them away from her cheek and tickling her earlobe. It sent a small shiver down her spine and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be back on her couch with him. To climb on top of him and cover his mouth with hers, taking what she wanted, the whole waiting to date a while thing be damned. The thought made her squirm a little in her seat. Hallie kept her eyes forward, sure she was now blushing from her inappropriate thoughts.
Lori was still standing at the podium. She had been quiet for several minutes, collecting herself, taking her time, saying goodbye to the man she’d so obviously loved and cherished.
