AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Absolutely,” I said, smiling to myself.
All the children were outside with me. Each of them growing and changing so fast I could hardly keep up with them. We all enjoyed the fresh afternoon air. Their fathers were all out and about working. I wasn’t exactly sure what they were doing. Morgan had asked if I could keep an eye on the kids for the next twenty minutes while he did something, and I would never say no to that request.
The children truly brought joy to this pride. Their smiles and laughter were exactly what had been missing. We had always been a quiet pride that focused on healing, and we still did all of that, but what was more healing than hearing children’s laughter? To know that, in the face of all the evil in the world, we still had this—our future.
And sure, we’d had children in the past, but they came and went with their parents. It was different. They were here for a season, not to build their life.
“Thanks for watching them,” Morgan said when he came back to my side. He gestured to the hiking pack that was at my feet. “Taking supplies up to your camping spot?”
I nodded.
“I’m glad you’re taking this time for yourself.” He’d been pushing me to for a while.
“Me too,” I said. It had been too long since I’d gotten away. Part of it was out of a sense of responsibility, but most of it was me being stubborn. It was my way. “I better go if I want to make it there and back by nightfall.”
“We’ll keep an eye out for you.” He would too. Not that I would need it. But it was something we often offered the omegas staying here, and it had become our habit to include ourselves in it, as well. What had started as modeling the behavior we wanted to see in our charges, had somehow turned into each of us being mother hens to one another.
I slung my pack onto my back, and with one last long look at the children and how Morgan’s mate Gideon came to his side and wrapped his arms around his shoulder, I walked into the forest alone. I couldn’t deny the longing in my heart to have what they had one day. For now, I would have to settle on being happy-ever-after adjacent.
My hike through the woods was taking twice as long as it usually did. I couldn’t get out of my own head. It had been an increasing problem lately. Today was extra rough for some reason. Maybe I needed to let my beast out more. Unlike me, he didn’t internalize emotions; he let them out on his prey. Great for him, not so much for the prey.
Who knew a person could have so many warring emotions at one time? I mean, I should know, given all the work we do in Asilo. But still… it hit me like a brick. The quiet of the woods around me and solitude only amplified it. Being alone with your thoughts was both a true gift and terrifying.
It amazed me that so much of me could be incredibly happy for my friends and that I was blessed beyond measure to be an uncle to countless children who had become a part of our pride in the past two years, and how quickly that could be overtaken by sorrow.
This was a perfect example of why I needed these short getaways, especially recently. For whatever reason, the longing was getting stronger. Humans called it having a ticking clock to start a family. I didn’t think it was that, though. Not really. It was more that I wanted these feelings to subside.
In moments like this, when I sat outside my little sanctuary, my little cave, I was lonely, sad, desperately wanting what my friends had found. Not that I wanted their mates. No. They were perfect for each other. I just wanted to find my perfect match too.
I knew that my own happily ever after could come in due time, and that all of my friends deserved the happiness they had found. It was my patience that was beginning to lack.
It wasn’t even that I had an unrealistic expectation. I knew that someone wasn’t going to swoop in and boom… We’d live happily ever after. It sure hadn’t for anyone I knew. In fact, for many of the couples, their happiness had come at great cost to them. But still, I wondered when my prince would come, and in what form he might take.
Thomas and I were the only two left within Asilo without a mate. Permanent residents, anyway. He didn’t seem to mind. And usually, I didn’t either. But lately? It was somewhat depressing, which was why I found myself needing a camping trip. Spending time with my beast in nature always did well by me.
Since coming to Asilo several years ago, I’d been able to help countless omegas in the same way that Morgan and Asilo had helped me, and I loved it. However, I needed space from time to time. Not from them, but in general. It had always been my way. And a few years ago, I had discovered a nice cave on the very edge of the territory where I could go and escape.
I headed there now, my camping gear packed on my back. It was impossible to carry it all in my animal form. Luckily, I could drop it off and return to my home in my animal form. My camping trip was technically starting tomorrow, but I wanted to take supplies out there today and make sure there were no surprises. I discovered long ago that if I let my beast bring us, he was able to enjoy his time more. He wanted to take in all the scents along the way, and I got that.
Last time I had planned a trip, I’d discovered my home away from home had become a home to a family of rats. And though I was not opposed to the wildlife taking advantage of whatever shelter they could, I did not wish for them to take advantage of mine. Rats were part of nature and all that, but they were also gross and pooped everywhere. Would I be horrible to a rat shifter? Absolutely not. But a wild rat? Yeah, I was fine without them in my life.
I wasn’t a fan of harming animals because they came into my space, especially when that space was a cave. If they came into my cupboard, that would be a very different story. Their days would be numbered. In this case, I took a very different approach. It took a couple of days of me stalking around the place in my cougar form, but they finally decided it wasn’t a safe place for them anymore and they moved.
This time I had put some of my human scent in there and hoped that would help to keep animals away. Real animals.
I wished for a moment that my camping trip could start tonight, but there was a meeting that I couldn’t miss and some work that needed to be done. Work and life in the pride didn’t come to a halt just because I wanted some time away. My duty was first and foremost to the Asilo pride, and I would not waver in my loyalty to them. They had given me so much in the past five years, and I could serve Asilo for fifty more and still not be able to repay them.
One would think with more permanent pride members that we would have less to do, but it almost seemed like we had more. Our services, mostly our teaching of defense and basic skills for omegas, were in high demand as of late. Thankfully, we hadn’t had to take in many rehabilitated omegas in quite some time. But our classes, those were popular.
In the past few years, I had been tasked with helping organize a lot of the off-site trainings we’d started. With our self-defense skills we went around to various packs and taught omegas and young children how to defend themselves if the situation ever arose. It also helped them to gain confidence. Most packs were amenable to us coming and sharing our knowledge. Those that weren’t… I had a feeling they needed our services the most.
I absolutely loved my work. On a regular basis, I made a difference in this world. Sure, I wasn’t the one who took down alphas who were in power and harming others, or funding those who needed new starts. Steelwick tended to handle most of that. But for those omegas and children that I worked with… I gave them something some of them hadn’t ever had before. I gave them a sense of power.
There was nothing better than that.
But then I’d come home to my little house… alone. I’d dissect what I’d done, always looking for ways to improve what I did. In doing so, I would see the faces of those who I taught running through my mind and wondered how many of them went home alone, the way I did. To a place where there was no pitter-patter of little feet, no mate to keep them company. Did it sadden them? Make them wish for more? Or did they see it as a strength, no longer being tied to an alpha and free to do what they pleased?
I’d never thought I wanted the white-picket-fence dreams. I often wondered if I’d be alone until I went to live with the goddess, that I would do what I could to give back to this world and my friends would be my family. But then everything at Asilo changed. One by one my friends found something I thought only existed in movies. They found the one person who could complete them—their mate.
