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I’m glad I can take this time to get a shower and freshen up. I’m an adult, but I feel like a child being caught in the act by her parents. My cheeks heat up at the thought of Clay walking in to see Caleb and me in a compromising position. I feel bad leaving Caleb to fill in Clay on what transpired last night, but I need five minutes to wrap my head around everything myself.
***
This morning, I get to see my baby again. I can’t believe that I’m halfway through this pregnancy already. It seems to be flying by too quickly.
I’m sandwiched in between Clay and Caleb. The place I feel safest in the world. It was weird coming to the doctor’s appointments without Caleb when we took that six weeks apart, but here we are, ready to see my baby again.
“Clay, can I ask you something?”
He turns in his seat and faces me. “You can ask me anything you like, sweetheart. Anytime. You know that.”
“You’ve been a big part of my life growing up, and here now, I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’re a good role model. If Caleb and I are going to be doing this… together.” I feel my cheeks heat up. “I need to know that if anything ever happens to me and Caleb that this baby is looked after. You’re the only one who hasn’t questioned this life I’m bringing into the world, and…” I trail off and take Caleb’s hand in mine. “Will you be my baby’s godfather?”
I look at a spot on the floor and hope I haven’t just rambled nonsense.
“Aria,” He puts his thumb under my chin and makes me look him in the eye. “I’d be honored. Who else is going to teach this kid to be cool? Uncle Clay has it sorted.”
He wraps his arms around me and places a kiss on my cheek.
“You don’t mind?” I ask Caleb.
It just dawned on me that I made this decision without consulting him, and if we’re going to work together, we need to talk.
“Of course not, babe. I’m happy knowing that Clay will be a big part of this little one’s life. But we’re not going anywhere for a long time. We’ll see first steps, first day at school, graduation. We’ll see it all.”
I smile at Caleb’s positivity. I just hope he’s right, because that uncertainty will never go away as long as my kidnapper is still out there.
“Aria Marshall,” says the nurse.
I stand up before Caleb, which is a first, because usually he’s got to sweet talk me into the doctor’s office. Clay remains in the waiting room with a fully caffeinated coffee. He makes a point of telling me daily how much he hates my decaf.
“Lie down on the bed and lift your shirt to just under your chest. Daddy, you can sit on the seat beside Mommy.”
I know I should have corrected the sonographer, but I doubt Caleb will mind. I don’t mind either. Today is much easier with him beside me, and I wish this baby was his. He’s the only man I ever imagined having children with.
“Okay, this will be cold at first.”
I lie back and look at the white tiled roof. I’m desperate to look at the screen, but I daren’t until I know everything is okay. I can hear the faint heartbeat coming from the monitor and Caleb squeezes my hand.
“He’s got so much bigger,” says Caleb warmly.
I take that as my cue to see my baby. The moment I look at the screen and see my actual baby, I gulp down the huge lump stuck in my throat. This is the little miracle that has been kicking, punching, and somersaulting around like an acrobat.
“Is…” I can’t speak.
Caleb clears his throat. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything looks perfect. Would you like to know what you’re having?”
I look at Caleb and he shrugs his shoulders. “It’s your call, babe.”
I smile. “No. I’d like a surprise.”
“Okay. Let me take a few measurements for your file and I’ll print out some pictures for you both.”
It feels like a dream that I’m lying on this bed watching my baby kick around. He or she is a strong little cookie. How we both survived is a miracle. If my baby can survive such a horrific ordeal and get on with life, then so can I.
Anything is possible if you just believe.
