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Chapter 5
Clay
I had to go for a run at the butt crack of dawn because sleep wasn’t coming easy. After my chat with Carrick last night, I was running every scenario through my head. We’re trying to find a needle in a haystack, and I can’t see us ever finding Shay… dead or alive.
I tossed and turned, kicked the sheets off the bed, and I stomped through my bedroom and dressed for a run. The more I tossed and turned, the more pissed off and agitated I was becoming.
A run always settles me, or so I thought. I’ve pounded through the streets, sweat pouring from my brow, thoughts and memories bouncing around until I stopped at the bakery out of habit. Aria loved these bagels and muffins while she was pregnant. I can’t help but stop by and get breakfast. Aria and Caleb are facing parenthood for the first time, and I’ll do anything to help make things easier for them. It helps take my mind off my own problems when I’m helping others.
I use my key to open Caleb’s house door. Everything is so quiet and still. A soft glow is coming from the living room and I see him lazing on the couch with his daughter kicking away in his arms.
“Hey.” I hold up the bags. “I brought breakfast. I didn’t think you guys would be up yet.”
Caleb laughs. “I’ve just taken over from Aria. This little monster doesn’t seem to like her new sleeping arrangements. I’m getting ready to go and buy one of those little glass cribs she slept in at hospital.”
“Bad night, huh?” I put the bags down on the coffee table and take my niece from Caleb. “Hey, gorgeous girl. You should have come and kept me company. I’ve been awake all night too.”
“Sharlynn has an excuse. This is all new to her, and she’s like a milk monster. But what’s got you up all night?”
Caleb pulls a muffin from the bag and takes a bite. I sit down on the couch opposite him and rock Sharlynn in my arms. Holding a baby is soothing for the soul, or it is for me.
“I have a house guest.”
“Who? Don’t tell me it’s some random hook-up from a bar again. You better have washed your hands before you picked up my daughter.”
I shake my head. “I’m done with pointless hook-ups. I told you that. No, this house guest was unannounced. Carrick, Shay’s brother.”
Silence surrounds us. I keep watching Sharlynn as she slips in and out of sleep. Her carefree state is beautiful. If only we could all be as carefree as her.
“And are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“He wants us to go to Iraq and find Shay.”
Caleb laughs. I don’t. I wait until he stops, and he tilts his head to look at me. “You’re not serious, right?”
“I’m deadly serious. I don’t joke about serious shit. And, for what it’s worth, I think we do need to do something.”
Caleb jumps up from the couch and places the half-eaten muffin down on the coffee table. “Doing something is good but thinking of flying to Iraq is like a death wish. What good do you think is going to come of that? We’ll end up burying all of you!” Caleb whisper shouts, cautious of Sharlynn in my arms. “You won’t get anywhere near where Shay was blown up.”
We should have had a baby in the family years ago; it would have saved me many ear bashings from my family. A few months ago, Caleb would have woken up the compound roaring at me like a banshee.
“When Aria was in trouble, I stood by you. I did everything I possibly could, no questions asked. I’m not asking you all to follow me to wherever this mission takes Carrick and me, but I can’t sit around and do nothing.”
“I agree. We can’t sit around and do nothing, but there have to be avenues we can go down before you fly your asses out to a fucking warzone. Open your eyes, Clay. Be practical.”
“I’m going to make a few calls today. I won’t jump in feet first, but I need to help Carrick get some closure.”
“Even if that means ending your own life in the process.”
Silence surrounds us. I feel Caleb’s eyes burning holes through me. “We never lose,” I say smartly and stand up to hand Caleb the baby.
“We never lose here. Iraq is a different fucking matter, Clay. You’re damn lucky you’ve handed me the baby because I want to knock some sense into your ass.”
I smile. “Why do you think I gave her back?”
Caleb sighs. “I want in on every detail. You don’t do anything rash. I don’t know how much more this family can take. I swear to God, I will lock you in the fucking basement if it means I stop you from doing something stupid.”
“I know what I’m doing.” I bend down and kiss my niece’s head. “You’re welcome, by the way. Go and get some sleep now this princess is sleeping.”
