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Chapter 6
5 months earlier
Shay
I honestly wish I still felt like a space cadet from all the pain drugs Keir pumped into me. I’m getting my strength back every day I’m here, but I still feel like a shell of myself. My legs are still weak, but I’m more determined than ever to get back on my feet. I need to get out of this room. The white walls are driving me insane. I’m imagining butterflies and monkeys fluttering about imaginary trees; anything to keep my mind from dying while sitting here. Anything to stop me from wondering what goes on outside of this medical wing. Keir seems genuine, but I just don’t understand any of it. How can this place go unnoticed? There are so many unanswered questions running around my head that I doubt I’ll ever get any legitimate answers to, or answers that I’m going to like.
“Afternoon.” Kier walks into my room and puts a tray of food down in front of me.
The food is just slops. There is nothing appetizing about the look or smell. It looks like someone has thrown up on the plate. I force it down my throat, feeling every lump until it reaches my stomach. Eating is the only way I’m going to get stronger.
“How’s it going?”
“How do you think? Have you seen Josh yet?”
I’ve been stuck in here for weeks and I haven’t seen Josh once. I don’t know where he is, or even if he’s still alive. I don’t believe he’s okay. I won’t believe it until I see him. I don’t want to be separated from the only person I know and trust. He got me out of that goddamn blast. He put his life on the line for me. I owe it to him to get him out of here.
“I haven’t seen him, but that’s a good thing, because he doesn’t need medical attention. I only see people with medical issues. I don’t have a free pass to walk around camp either. I only get out when I’m with trusted soldiers.”
“He could be dead already.”
I shake my head and push away the roll-away table my lunch is on. I’ve suddenly lost all appetite, not that I’ve had one since being held prisoner. I’m sure I’ll rattle with all the medication I’ve been given. There is something very off-putting when you take so many pills before a meal.
“You need to eat, Shay.”
“And you need to start being honest with me!”
“I have been honest with you. I’ve answered all your questions as honestly as I possibly can. I can’t tell you what I don’t know.” He pulls over the stool and sits down. “I’m as much in the dark as you are. I’ve fit in here because I don’t make trouble. I don’t answer back. I do the job they ask of me. What else can I do?”
“Who runs this place?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen the American that founded it, but the Iraq government has a big hold over this place. It’s all the little minions that keep it ticking over. I don’t want to see the top dogs Shay; the cretins that run everything day to day cause enough death and destruction as it is.”
I shudder at that thought. “Why would Americans be involved in this?
“Why would anyone be involved in this?”
“How do you know it was an American who founded this place?”
“I know a good amount of the language here, but no one other than you knows that. When the soldiers talk in their own language, they think I don’t understand. I’ve found out more than I’d like to admit.”
“I need you to let me out of this room. I need to help. I can’t sit here and do nothing anymore. I’m driving myself crazy in here.”
“That’s the plan, Shay. I have hundreds of patients that need more than my help, but I can only allow you to help when you’re not a patient yourself. Right now, it’s in your best interests to stay in here away from germs, at least until your wounds have all healed well.”
Urgh. I know how stubborn wounds can be. I could be like this for months. They might never heal because they were left for so long in unhygienic conditions. I’ve seen people get limbs amputated because their wounds wouldn’t cooperate.
“I know how frustrated you are. I’ve been where you are, remember. Just hang on. Eat. Get your strength up. When you’re in here, I don’t have to worry about your safety, or what you’re up to.”
I nod reluctantly. There isn’t much more I can do. Maybe I can imagine my knight in shining armor riding in on horseback to save me. It beats imagining the worst possible scenarios, wondering where Josh is, or what my family is up to. It’s all just making me more depressed, and I hate that my state of mind is compromised, because I’m strong. I’ve witnessed a lot in my time, but my strength and determination have got me through everything. I know I need to remain positive, but it’s hard under the circumstances.
I need to get out of here.
