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We fell back into silence minus Jamey’s hasty chewing and brief outbursts about what kind of ice cream he wanted to get from Debbie's. Apparently, mint-chocolate chip wasn’t good enough if we were going there. He wanted something even better.
“You okay, Soph?” Hudson asked, his grin sliding as his brows furrowed. His hand twitched where he’d left it on the table, almost as if he wanted to reach for mine. “You seem a bit distracted.”
“I’m okay.” Lie. You’re panicking. You’re thinking of all the ways this can go wrong and wondering if you should just tell him how you feel, you idiot. “Work’s been a lot this week, so I’m just a little tired.”
“Did you get everything you needed to do?”
I almost snorted. “No.”
————
By the time Hudson parked the Range Rover at the harbor, the sun was hanging low in the sky, painting everything in deep oranges and pinks. I wished we were on the west coast so we could watch it set over the water, but I’d take a sunrise over a sunset any day.
Hudson picked up Jamey despite his protests of wanting me to lift him instead. He held him against his hip, high enough that he could see the menu as we stepped up to the little window to order. I watched as Hudson pointed out each option on the board, helping Jamey sound out each word, and the ache in my chest seemed to spread to my bones. He was such a good father, such a caring person and I loved to catch him off his guard. I wanted this side of Hudson, the side that I thought might want me in return.
But I also knew how much of an idiot I might be for wanting that.
“Which one are you having, Jamey?” I asked, coming up beside them. Jamey sat at my height on his dad’s hip, and he giggled as he reached out and poked my nose.
“I think… maybe… uh…”
“You’ve gotta pick one, bud.” Hudson chuckled as he shifted Jamey’s weight on his hip.
“It’s just so hard!”
“Well, I’m going to get rum-raisin. Why don’t you just get your favorite?” Hudson asked, pointing to the mint chocolate chip on the board in big letters.
Jamey gasped as he looked at it, his eyes tracking further up than Hudson’s hand. “Peanut butter! I want the peanut butter one. But I want chocolate on top.”
Hudson laughed as he put him down, ruffling his hair. “Always full of surprises, aren’t you, squirt?” His sights turned to me, that comfortableness settling between us, and he cracked a grin. “What do you want?”
I knew what I wanted. It was the exact same thing I had every single time I came to Debbie’s, the exact same thing I’d gotten since I was a kid. “Orange and vanilla swirl.”
“On it. There’s a blanket in the back of the car,” he said, nodding toward the Range Rover. “Why don’t you and Jamey go lay it out on the beach and I’ll meet you guys down there?”
————
I didn’t notice Hudson joining us until his bare, sand-covered feet hit the blanket. He held three cones of ice cream in one hand as if he’d been doing it his whole life, effortlessly, as he sat down next to me. Jamey had already started working on building a sand mound, but the moment his dad arrived, he abandoned it for the treat.
I took my cone from Hudson, watching him carefully as he looked between me and Jamey. I wasn’t sure what his plan was exactly—we hadn’t discussed the finer details, just that we would tell him. The anxiety of it was eating me alive, and combined with Hudson’s mixed signals, I felt like I was starting to panic a little.
“Can you tell him?” I whispered, leaning in just a hair closer to him. My shoulder brushed against his, and as he looked down at me, I swear I saw too much behind his eyes. Too much of what I wanted, not necessarily what he would give me.
“Of course.” He closed the distance just for a millisecond, placing the softest kiss against my forehead, before turning back to Jamey. “Hey, bud. Sophie and I have something we need to tell you about but you’ve got to pay attention. Can you handle that?”
Jamey turned from the sand he’d been kicking, suddenly far more interested in what his dad had to say. “Okay. What is it?”
“So, you know how there’s this one thing that you’ve been asking me for ever since you could talk?”
His little eyes grew wide as saucers as he looked up at his dad, peanut-butter ice cream melting over the side of his hand. “We’re going to Disney?”
Hudson blinked, confusion marring his face. “You want to go to Disney?”
“Yeah! I saw a commercial for it at Grandma’s.”
I snorted, leaning more of my weight toward Hudson until my head rested on his shoulder. I was so damn tired and it wasn’t even eight in the evening yet.
“Okay, no, this isn’t about Disney. We can go to Disney if you want but this is something you’ve been asking for, not something you just found out about?—”
