Page 110 of Tiny Dark Deeds


Font Size:  

“How did she react?” Dad asked, and I sat up.

“How she should have,” I said, staring out of the car. “Like she can’t trust me. Like… like I’m a monster.” I stuttered on the last word, my breath shallow. “I am a monster.”

I didn’t mean to say it, though I felt it. I was a monster, but I shouldn’t have said that in front of my dad.

I knew that by the way he looked at me.

“You feel like you’re a monster, son?” he questioned, his hand on my neck. He squeezed. “Why do you feel like that?”

“How am I not? Besides all that with Grandpa, there’s all the Mayberry stuff, and I just feel it inside me. I’m my grandfather’s fucking grandson, and I feel it.”

These were facts, cold hard facts, and Dad knew it. He may have been able to battle his own demons, but clearly, I hadn’t. They were still fully fledged within me, alive and true.

Dad leaned forward. “You made some mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you’re a monster.”

“But doesn’t it?” I glanced his way, cringing. “I have this thing inside me, and I can’t control it. I’m a piece of shit, and I can’t even fix the things I want to fix right. I messed up with Charlie. I should have just told you and Mom the truth.”

Dad nodded, agreeing. He rubbed my neck. “You should have, but that doesn’t make you a monster, son. It makes you human.”

Human. Right. I shook my head. “It makes me a head case, and Sloane sees that now. She’ll always see that.” I rubbed my hands. “I’m a piece of shit, Dad—”

“You’re not.” He took my face, scanning my eyes. “You’re my son, and though you’re not without flaws, you are perfection in every sense of the word. Perfection to me, your mom, and anyone who’s ever gotten the chance to be loved by you. Protected by you.”

I cringed, and he shook his head, shook me.

“You are, Dorian. You are a Prinze, and my father may have sullied that name, but you have not. You’re going to make that name better, stronger.” His throat flicked. “I’ve worked my whole life to create a legacy for you. A strong one… an honest one that you one day can be proud of.”

I knew he had. Everyone loved my father, his peers, his employees… everyone, and that was because he protected them. He protected their interests and never let people get taken advantage of if he could help it.

“You’re going to make that legacy even stronger, son, and it’s going to be an honor to hand that down to you one day. It will be because I know what you’ll do with it. You’ll be better than my father. Better than me because I’m not perfect either. I had to overcome my own struggles, and you will too.”

“How do you know that about me?” I asked, voice breaking. “I never do the right thing.”

“That’s because you need to do that to learn how to. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of trials and tribulations. Sometimes you really have to fuck some shit up to figure out how to do something right.”

I laughed, and he did too.

He sat back. “But you will. It’s guaranteed, because you’re an extension of both me and your mother, and thank God for how much of your mom you carry. You have her good heart, and you’ve always had that.”

“I have yours too,” I said, swallowing. “Yours is good too.” He might not be quick to say that, but he should. He was one of the best people I knew.

He smiled a little. “That took some work too.” His hand moved to my arm. “And it helped having your mother.”

I glanced his way, and he patted my back.

“Things will work out between you and Sloane. It will if you’re willing to work for it.”

“I love her,” I stated, no waver in my voice. “That girl owns me, Dad.”

I might have been afraid to admit that in the past, but I wasn’t now for some reason. Maybe because I knew my dad would understand.

His smile stretched. “Then put the work in, and be kinder to yourself, Dorian. You’re still young, and you’re going to figure it out. Figure life out.”

“Why didn’t I just talk to you sooner?” I asked, feeling stupid now. I should have gone to him back then, back before Charlie and everything.

“Because you’re me.” He rubbed my arm. “So, you’re welcome for that.”

I barked out a laugh, and he did too, my dad and I laughing just over nothing.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
Articles you may like