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The two had a history I’d only heard whispers about, and I think my father had actually only talked to me about it once. The other conversations I’d snuck up on, intimate conversations between him and my mother. My father wasn’t open much with his feelings, and once he and I had talked about it, he buried it. He’d wanted to let me know about those whispered conversations I’d stumbled in on, said he felt he owed them to me.
His chest raised with a large breath. “What do you mean, Dorian?”
“I mean, contact can be through me. Like I said, Grandpa wants a relationship with me. I don’t think he’d hurt me, but you can have Ronald go with me. Hell, you can have a whole fleet of cops come, but I need to do everything I can to find Sloane. Wolf’s really not doing well, and I…” My voice shut down, tight and my throat raw. “Just let me do this please. I’m coming to you, but I’d never make you work with him. I won’t, so let it be me.”
My father unbuttoned his jacket in that moment, his hand sweeping over his head. He stared at me for a long time, and next thing I knew, he was directing me to sit down.
We sat on his leather furniture, him on his easy chair and me on the loveseat. His lips pulled together. “I know you want to find her.” He lifted a hand. “Brielle talked to me about that day you introduced Pilar...”
My mouth opened, and his hand lifted higher.
“Apologies. Sloane.” He sat back in his chair. “She talked to me about that day you introduced Sloane to her. I know she means something to you and probably more than you’re willing to share with me right now.”
I hated he assumed that, but he did because he knew me.
I was a lot like him.
It was hard enough for me to feel what I was feeling. Let alone talk about it.
Dad pulled a hand over his face. “And even if we were working with my father, you have to know you’d never be the one to do it, son.”
I said nothing, Dad’s sigh heavy.
His hands came together, and before he could shut me down again, I leaned forward. “I don’t care if it’s me. I don’t care about any of that, but I’m begging you to let our people work with his. I’ll do anything you want. I’ll go to therapy, and I’ll be happy about it. I swear to God I will, but we just need to be doing everything we can.”
It was like I was a fly on the wall in the moment, looking at myself pleading with my dad. It was like I was outside of myself. I wasn’t acting like myself.
“You talk as if we’re not,” he said, his expression tight, serious. “Like we’re not doing everything we can.”
My mouth dried. “That’s not what I…”
“Because we are.” His chin lowered, nod firm. “We are, and as I’ve stressed before, the lines of communication are open. Our people are in contact and your grandfather knows to contact us if he has anything.”
My father got up then, and after he unsmoked his glass walls, he waved Ronald inside. Dad took his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to call Dr. Singh. I’ll let her know you’ll be coming late because Ronald’s on his way with you.”
I got to hear that exchange when Ronald arrived at my side, and when he asked if I was ready, I knew where I was going next.
I mean, Ronald heard my dad as much as I had.
Dad tapped off his phone when he was done, his head cocked, eyebrows narrowed. “I understand this is hard for you,” he said, and I noticed a tightness in his voice. He ended up running a hand over his mouth before looking at me. “But I’m begging you to do what I ask. You need to let me handle this. Be your dad and take care of you and our friends. They’re my family too, and we are all doing everything we can.”
I hated that what I said came across that way, and I did think he was doing everything he could do. That was why I wanted to take on the burden, protect him and deal with Grandpa.
I only nodded to my father because he needed me to. He was walking along his own ledge here.
We apparently all were in our own fragile houses.
Chapter Eleven
Dorian
I passed Thatcher in the locker room.
He was rubbing oil down his abs.
I lifted my eyes to the rafters but didn’t give him shit about it. He often was one of the last people out of the building after practice, vainer than shit. He was one of the few dudes who kept a mirror in his locker, and Wells and the rest of the football team were long gone by now. I’d only stayed late for some time in the shower, the heat getting me out of my head a bit.
I was in there a lot lately.
