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Had I pushed him too hard?
Something tight settled in my stomach. That I had accidentally hurt him today with all the work I’d had him do. He’d had issues with his back in the past, and I should have thought about that.
I must have looked like I was silently chastising myself, because Wolf grabbed my hand. He kissed it before kissing me, and my mind instantly went blank.
His kisses had a way of doing that.
It was like a warm remedy, all the worries in my mind fading away. He was on his feet as his hands folded over my shoulders, and soon, he was stripping me bare.
I moaned at the feel of his hands gliding down my hips, and I shivered when his mouth brushed my ear. “I love how you worry about me. How much you care,” he said, his nose nuzzling my ear. The chills went deep, and I laughed when his lips touched my neck. “Now, into the bath. It’s getting cold.”
He guided me in, and I was on full display for him. Normally, I’d have thoughts about being so vulnerable, but Wolf’s hungry eyes roved over me, and I didn’t have time to be self-conscious. I felt desired.
I felt loved.
He had said he loved me, and when I got into the bath, I made room for him.
“No. This is for you,” he said, then remained on the edge of the tub. His hands framed my face, and his smile was incredibly warm when his thumb guided some hair off my cheek. “Let me take care of you.”
That sounded nice too and reminded me of earlier when we’d made love. He had wanted to take care of me then too.
I gave him my back, and he put my hair up. He used the hair tie he’d been wearing and something felt so intimate about that. Like he really was trying to take care of me. I think I could safely say no guy had ever put my hair up. He obviously knew how because of his own thick locks, and again, it made me feel cared for. He kept some of it out in the front, a few wavy strands framing my face.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked, as he guided water over my shoulders. He was using his hands and bath gel to wash me, then rinsing the suds off. “I didn’t have you doing too much today, did I? I know you’ve had problems with your back in the past.”
I knew he was okay now. He’d said his cancer was a thing of the past, but one never knew. He might still have off days even though he’d shown me nothing but the opposite on more than one occasion. I mean, the guy had picked me up off my actual feet before, and I wasn’t a small girl.
Regardless, I probably should have checked in before assuming he never did have those bad days. Wolf’s hand cupped my shoulder, and when he didn’t say anything, I gazed back. No words were exchanged between us as he glided his fingers down my arm. He followed the trail of my tattooed flowers, his lengthy digits creating goose bumps on my skin.
“Wolf?” I didn’t know why he wasn’t answering me. Had I pushed him too hard today?
“This isn’t going to work, Red,” he said, and my body instantly locked up. It became rigid and gut-wrenchingly tight. His finger outlined one of my flowers. “I want it to. God, how I want it to, but too much has happened. Too much is happening.”
My mind was in a whirl. I was so confused. “What do you mean?”
But in the back of my mind, I knew. He had tried to end this downstairs, and I’d been so worried when we’d been making love. He had been holding back.
I just didn’t get why?
I was so confused why he wasn’t fighting for this to work between us. He was the one who’d hurt me, but I was willing to fight.
I was thrown for a loop when Wolf brought me close. He got my shoulders and everything and was inches away.
“I have cancer, Red,” he stated, and my breath escaped. It was short wisps, gasps. He nodded. “I do, and I’ve had it for months.”
I’ve had it for months.
The words didn’t compute. My body was shaking, my head shaking. “What do you mean you have… cancer? You said you had a surgery. You said…”
The sentence refused to continue.
Cancer.
The word in my mind sounded like another language, and it still didn’t resonate. He had to be joking. He was messing with me. He had to be…
Wolf’s head lowered, his gaze hitting bubbly water. He wasn’t making eye contact with me, and the longer he wasn’t, my body wouldn’t take in air. My lungs squeezed, and it felt like someone had reached into my chest and was suffocating me from the inside. Like I’d been bucked by a horse and hit by a semi at the same time.
Cancer.
