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He does need you.
It made me feel warm. Especially when he drew his long wingspan around my waist. He brought me close, only the armrest between us, and I buried my fingers deep in his curls. I hadn’t said a word when I’d come over, but somehow, he knew it was me.
My mouth touched his hair, and he sighed beneath my hands. He was like a large animal in a cave, dormant yet completely alive. He shook his head. “I fucked up so bad.”
I didn’t know if he wanted a response, and I smiled before giving one. “Yeah, you did.”
His head lifted, but upon seeing my smile, he gave one right back. It was nice to see. He had a great one of those.
“Ah, Red,” he said, taking my face in his hands. He ran thumbs across my cheeks. “You know what you’re in for, right? What things are about to look like real soon? It’s not going to be pretty. It’s going to be fucking terrible.”
I assumed he meant his condition, and the doctors did say he’d be sick. Real sick.
He hugged his arms around me. “You’re going to see me at my worst and…” His mouth touched my neck. “It’s going to be hard for everyone, and I don’t want you to see me like that.”
I knew he didn’t. I nodded. “I understand.”
“Do you?” He lifted his head, and his hands returned to my face. He scanned my eyes. “You can walk away right now, and there’d be no harm, no foul. I swear you wouldn’t hurt me. If you walk away…”
I kissed him, so done with that talk. He knew I wasn’t leaving. He knew I was in this, so he needed to stop with this.
He braced my cheeks, bruising my lips, and maybe even harder than I was bruising his. He needed me right now, and I wanted to be needed. I was here for him. I got him and had his back.
Because I loved him.
My eyes were wet when he lifted his head, and I was well aware I cried at the drop of a hat lately. I actually loved that I did. I used to hide my emotions, and that was another thing I’d let go by being with him. I wasn’t afraid to feel vulnerability, to show it.
His thumb brushed my cheek. “I’m always making you cry.”
He was, but this time, it wasn’t his fault. I nodded with a smile, gripping his wrist. “I know what I signed up for. I’m with you on this. I’m not leaving.”
And he couldn’t make me. He could try, but I’d always be in the background. I’d always be around and willing to help, and he couldn’t stop that.
His handsome smile returned before he pressed his mouth against mine again. “Always saving my life,” he said during the kiss, and I warmed inside.
Because he saved mine too.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
CHAPTER FORTY
Fawn – the present
Wolf shifted next to me, restless. His parents were here at this doctor’s visit today, so that probably only added to his anxiety. He wanted them to have good news.
And we wanted him to have good news.
The last year had its struggles. Ups and downs included watching my boyfriend get extremely sick and going through what had to be the toughest year of his life. It included sacrifices on all sides. Personally, I delayed my internship with the New York Times, but my own sacrifices were nothing compared to Wolf’s. He lost yet another year of his life.
But the trade-off gained him his life back.
Looking at him it was like no time had passed. Well, except the obvious. His hair was shorter now but give him until summer and I was sure those curls would be right back down to his shoulders. He’d cut it proactively before undergoing chemotherapy last year, but now, it was back and just as full as it’d been, vibrant. Other changes included him nearly matching the size he’d been prior to all his treatments, and that both pleased and frustrated the hell out of everyone. Myself included. Once his doctors cleared him, he’d been right back in the gym. He’d probably end up being bigger than he’d been before all this just to prove a point to all of us, but he didn’t have to. We knew how strong he was.
He showed that strength now, that restraint. He no doubt wanted to blast his doctor with questions but sat patiently beside me. It still felt weird being here for these doctor’s appointments, but no one made me feel that way. Least of all Wolf.
