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I’d already done what I should have. I pocketed my hands. “Nothing more needs to be done. She’s where she should be.”
She was far away, away from me and my bullshit. The best thing I could have ever done for her was let her go and not go chasing after her.
Tell my insides that, the burning inside even more intense with my thoughts. The thought of not seeing Fawn again… holding her…
My sister was in front of me now, and she was taller than most girls. We got our height from our father. “So you’re just going to let her go,” she said, frowning. She shook her head. “I have to say, big. That doesn’t sound like you. Since when do you or any of the guys give up on anything?”
I glanced away. “She doesn’t want to see me.”
“And if she did?”
“I don’t know, little.” Why was she pushing this? This shit that hurt so much… My jaw moved. “She doesn’t want to see me, and she shouldn’t want to.”
“But what if she did?” Her head tilted. “Would you be open with her? Open and honest about anything she’d want to talk to you about?”
Of course, I would. I’d fucking die before I lied to her about anything again. “Yes. A million times yes.”
I heard the ache in my voice, and my sight hit the ground. I stared off into the rolling hills of our hometown. Those hilltops were covered in snow, thick until it all melted away for spring. I wished for spring. I wished for something beautiful in all this fucked-up shit.
Sloane nodded. “Okay, then.”
My sister stepped away from me, and suddenly, a smile was on her face. She cupped her mouth. “You hear that? He says he’s done being an idiot.”
I veered a look in the direction her voice carried off to. Someone else was in the distance, and that someone else made my heart stop.
She also made it kick back to life.
Fawn had that coat on that made her look like a little marshmallow, her hands deep in the coat pockets. The sunlight in her hair made it look more auburn today, the charged red complementing the color in her cheeks. She was so flushed from the chill, glowing.
God, she’s so beautiful.
It was hard to even look at her, the urge to run to her… hold her deep in my muscles. I wasn’t allowed to just go over to her and do that.
I shouldn’t do that.
But I did meet her halfway, my sister in the corner of my vision. Sloane stayed behind, and eventually, I noticed her head off in another direction. She left Red and me here, and she must have told Fawn where to find me.
Why did Red want to find me? She shouldn’t want to. In fact, she should be with her family, and I loved that she was there. The fact that she’d reconnected with her mother was a good thing. She needed her mom. She didn’t need…
I stopped breathing, but not because of where my thoughts had been about to go. Red’s arms came around my waist, and the air escaped my lungs. I stopped moving. I stopped doing everything.
Until I wasn’t.
Until I had my arms around her too, my body completely shaking, shook.
“God, Red.” I pushed my hands into her vibrant hair, breathing her in and getting drunk off her sweet smell. So sweet, so floral. I closed my eyes. “Fucking God, how I missed you.”
I wasn’t supposed to tell her that. She’d left, and I wasn’t supposed to engage, go after her…
But I hadn’t. She’d come to me, and currently, her fingers were digging into my coat. Like I was her lifeline too.
“I missed you,” she said, and my insides charged to life again. She sniffed. “I missed you so much.”
I saw why she sniffed when she rubbed her eyes, her eyes red, glistening. She appeared to be on the verge of tears, but I dared not reach out to comfort her when she pulled away.
She missed you.
It didn’t matter. It couldn’t. I couldn’t let how I felt weave into whatever was about to happen. If she chose something else other than us, me… I should let her.
