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I probably didn’t.
He literally ruined everything, and I hadn’t always been broken when it came to my family. I’d been getting better for a time. Better because of him.
I stared at Bru, genuine concern in his eyes when he looked at me. I had a feeling if I didn’t go, he’d stay. He’d ruin his life for Wolf too. Bru was on college break, but I knew he’d spend it with me. The old Bruno would have done that.
And so would the old Fawn.
The old Fawn wouldn’t have allowed an asshole to break her, and she would have nutted the fuck up so her friend didn’t ruin his Christmas plans. She would have been there for him so he could spend time with his family. I wouldn’t let Bru ruin his holiday, and I wouldn’t let Wolf destroy something else. He had enough power when it came to my life.
It was time I took some of it back.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Fawn
The time between me accepting the Mallicks’ invitation to go to South Carolina and the house going into overdrive to make flights was a quick one. I offered to pay for my own flight, but once again, Mr. and Mrs. Mallick were generous. They not only covered everything, but managed to get me on the same flight as themselves and the rest of the Legacy families. Things were moving.
This was happening.
People scattered in the kitchen, but Wolf was the first one to leave it. He’d basically had smoke on his heels after my decision, grumbling about having to get some last-minute things. I’d be an idiot to think that wasn’t about me, but I didn’t give a fuck. I’d given way too many to him and the situation he put me in. I was tired of taking the blame, and I wouldn’t from here on out.
My immediate concerns more so lay with travel from here on the way to South Carolina, but those were stamped down at the present when a shuttle bus pulled up to the Mallicks’ about a half hour after the decision made in the kitchen. I assumed Mr. and Mrs. Mallick called one of those because of the large party, but this completely worked for me. I still didn’t get in cars and wasn’t sure how to broach the subject with Bru and Wolf’s parents. I wasn’t sure if they knew about my impairment.
If Wolf had told them…
Bru didn’t know, and that had been deliberate. We’d gotten here on a bus last night, but that was only because I’d lied to him about having an issue with rideshares. I’d told him I didn’t like getting into strange people’s cars, and though he knew about the fight I had in high school with Cissy Armstrong, I didn’t think he knew the extent of my issues with cars in general. I think back then he just thought my anger lay with being locked in a car by my bully.
I hadn’t let him in.
I was still very guarded back then. Hell, I was still guarded now and didn’t want him to see how weak I was. I was sure if he did know about my issue back then, he logically would believe I’d be over it now. I wished I was, but I wasn’t.
In any sense, I had escaped that possible hurdle, but I wasn’t sure if that would remain constant all the way down to South Carolina. I wanted to take Bru aside and actually talk to him about everything. There were a few things I wanted to talk to him about just in general since we hadn’t gotten the chance, but he quickly got caught up in the fray of the last-minute travel hustle and bustle. His parents requested him and the Legacy guys to bring down all the bags and help with the bus loading, and rather than be in the way of all that, I escaped outside.
I took a breath.
I think it was the first one I’d taken since this all started, and I welcomed it.
Breathe. Just breathe.
My phone chimed off shortly after stepping out into the brisk air, and taking it out, I got a sad emoji from Bru.
Bru: Sorry, I have to do all this bag stuff. I’ll try to make it quick.
He managed to get a smile out of me in that moment. Again, thinking about me. I hadn’t gotten a lot of that lately, so yeah, that meant something.
Me: It’s cool. I wanted to take a walk anyway before we leave. All this was a lot, so yeah.
This felt like a massive understatement, and I did take that walk as Bru texted back. His little message bubble popped up, and I smiled again.
Bru: Why am I not surprised life with you now is just as exciting as it was back then. *laughing emoji*
It had been exciting, but not only in the bad way that was Cissy Armstrong. Actually, before all that, it’d been cool, fun, and I recalled the days that it had been. Bru and I certainly cut our fair share of classes out of boredom, and when we had, we’d gone on the school’s roof.
It’d been nice up there, peaceful. The school’s groundskeeper kept pigeons up there. The guy kept them locked up, of course, but Bru and I would just hang out and listen to them. We’d take our backpacks and lay them out on the roof as pillows. After that, we’d just watch the sky, the pigeons flapping and cooing in the background. Some may find all that chaos the opposite of peaceful, but I would have done anything back then to get out of the chaos of my head.
I supposed Bru shared that same thought back then, because we didn’t really talk up there. We just existed.
Again, it was peaceful.
