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“And thank you for paying attention tonight,” he said. “For being the example? The other boys really could learn a thing or two from you, and I’m so proud your mom and I don’t have to worry about you.”
I had paid attention tonight. At one point, Thatcher and Wells had fallen asleep, and Prinze and Wolf were in and out. The latter two had been awake, but barely, and I was sure my focus was for different reasons.
I closed my mouth, my smile strong on my father. He and Brielle had said that a few times since I’d been back, that they were glad they didn’t have to worry about me.
That they were proud.
They said they were proud of me for taking life by the horns and branching out. They’d let me find my own way after high school and hadn’t even blanched when I’d decided to cross an ocean to go to school. They were proud of me and happy for me.
I owed my adoptive mother and father so much, my throat tight when I nodded at my dad. I put on a strong face for him and was proud of myself that I didn’t let my anxiety show.
My restlessness.
It had hit hard tonight, and I’d felt the trigger of it the moment the dads had all showered me with all that praise. I’d been in a constant state of restlessness after that, and Thatcher’s and Wells’s comments about that Hulk shit hadn’t helped.
Calm.
Smoking seemed to be the only thing these days to help me fight my body’s urge to physically expel energy. It wasn’t the solution by any means, but it ebbed the pulse charging through my veins.
My fists.
Going back to the house wasn’t an option right now, and I texted Wells and Thatcher to cover for me when I went behind the house to smoke. It had kind of been unsaid that we’d be doing that for each other since we all smoked weed.
I took mine out back farther into the woods. I didn’t want to risk one of the parents being on the back porch and seeing the light. Thick smoke curled from my lips, and I physically felt myself calm down.
Calm.
Breathing exercises helped too, but not when I was so amped. I related with my brother on the whole panic thing. I’d never had an actual attack, but it felt like I handled my shit worse.
I still wasn’t sure what to make of Wolf and all this stuff, but at the present, I was more concerned with myself. I needed to calm the fuck down.
Closing my eyes, I let the back of my head touch a tree. My muscles loosened up a bit, not as tight, but I looked up when some brush hit my face. My eyes shot open and a short shriek hit the air before someone fell from the tree and was suddenly in my arms.
What the hell?
Something sweet and floral smelling surrounded me, and I nearly lost my footing and her when Fawn crashed against me. She had her camera cradled in her arm, the other one wrapped around me.
“Fawn?” She’d mostly landed on her feet, but I had to keep her there. “Hey.”
She was panicking a little, her face exploded in color. I didn’t know from how high up she’d fallen, but far enough to freak her out. She was breathing rapidly, harshly, and after I got her on her feet, I directed her to look at me.
“Fawn.” My thumbs brushed the flush in her cheeks. Adrenaline charged my heart too, and that’d been before she fell. There was a reason I was out here smoking weed. “Fawn, look at me.”
She was now, and I calmed as she did. I was grateful for that. Before she fell, I’d had enough energy pumping through me I thought I’d punch a tree.
The urge wasn’t there now, my breathing mellow. The weed had helped before, but this was better.
“Holy fuck, Bru.” She pushed her hair out of her face, still in my arms. She laughed. “Shit. I almost killed you. I’m sorry.”
She hadn’t almost killed me. In all actuality, she’d ended up easing me off a fucking ledge. Things were getting dicey there for a moment, dark.
“What were you doing?” I asked. We both realized I still had my arms around her at this point, and rather awkwardly, I let her go. I immediately realized the loss of the warmth, but it was chilly tonight. Even in my tux. “You okay?”
“Yeah, and…” A flash of panic struck across her face. That was until she realized she had her camera. She sighed. “You saved my camera.”
“I saved you.” I was laughing now. She could be cute sometimes, panicking more for her camera than herself.
Real cute.
