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I’d like to help her a lot.
A lot.
A lot.
Something twisted her expression in that next moment, pulling me out of my thoughts. Her mouth parted. “How was the ballet?”
So that was the reason for her sudden shift, her focus suddenly on my tux and not the conversation. “Wasn’t bad. I have seen this one before, so no, it wasn’t bad.”
Smile again, please.
I liked it when she smiled. I liked it even more when I made her happy. I remember it being a drug back then too.
Another drug…
Fighting that thought, I watched her shake her head. She played with her camera’s strap. “How did he act?”
Seeing as how he probably meant my brother, I didn’t ask her to elaborate. Regardless, though, I wasn’t quite sure how to answer.
Fawn wrestled through red strands. “You know what? Never mind. Sorry I asked. I don’t care.” A curse left her lips. Like she was chastising herself for asking.
I eased my hands into my pockets. “Fawn?”
“Ready for bed? I am.” She looped her arm in mine, a friendly gesture.
I nodded, not sure if that was more for her or myself. “Sure.”
Her smile returned then, and since it had, that might be why I let where we’d been headed go. She clearly didn’t want to talk about my brother, and my brother didn’t want to talk about her. They were two people who didn’t want to talk about each other, and I thought I’d gotten her reason considering how he’d treated her.
I wasn’t so sure now as I walked Fawn into the house, but I did escort her. I was tired too. Dog tired.
Always tired.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ares
Numb. That was what I wanted to feel. It was the only way not to feel anything at all, internal, external…
I’d been on autopilot that morning with the moms. I couldn’t tell you what tasks I did for them, or what they were baking. I just knew the moment my own mother told me they were good with the help, I headed out.
I ran.
My feet hit ground, jogging the best way not to feel anything. I tired my shit out and worked myself to the point of exhaustion.
I was exhausted.
In every way I could think of, I was, and I couldn’t see a way around any of it. I’d dug myself too deep. Buried.
Numb.
I honest to shit couldn’t feel any part of my body by the time I got to the harbor. The local town was decorated in holiday lights just like the theater, and I came across the ocean breeze exhausted.
Spent.
I was used to feeling too much these days, and it was like someone knew when I got a text.
Remember to reach out when you get back, the text said, and I didn’t bother looking at the name of the person who sent it. It was always the same person these days.
