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I didn’t feel it had. It couldn’t if it was one-sided. I glanced up. “I didn’t want it to.”
Bru blanched. “What do you mean you didn’t want it to? Like he…” His gaze shot outside, his eyes suddenly cold. He faced forward. “Fawn, did my brother make you do something you didn’t want to do?”
It took me a second to realize what he was getting at, and after I did, I waved what he said off right away. It hadn’t been like that.
The truth of it was I’d been stupid. I fell in love with someone who wanted nothing to do with me.
Stupid.
I had been in love, so fucking in love it drove me crazy. He drove me crazy. “I just mean, the platonic parameters of our relationship were something he clearly set, and I got stupid.”
“Stupid?”
I nodded. “I don’t want to talk about it, Bru. It was dumb. I was dumb.”
So dumb.
And I wanted to cry now, even dumber. I started playing with my camera again, and out of nowhere came Bru. He placed his hand on the strap, making me deal with shit.
Making me face him.
He was never one to make me talk about my problems, like his brother in that way. But unlike his brother, he never pushed once I gave him an in. That had been Wolf. Once he got a thread, he unraveled it. He bled it out of me.
He made me feel things.
He made me feel like he was there for me and created a space where I could trust him. This was such bullshit, epic shit.
“Fawn, did you,” Bru started and was so kind. This day had been great before his stupid brother. I mean, he’d gotten up at the crack of dawn with me and helped me find deer and shit. His eyes narrowed. “Did you fall in love with my brother?”
I thought I had, believed I had, but how could I have when it was never real?
It was real for you.
“That wasn’t love, Bruno,” I said, the truth, then shrugged. “Anyway, nothing was ever real for him, so it couldn’t have been real for me.”
Bru’s attention shifted outside. I didn’t know what he was looking for, but something had him working his jaw. “You sure he doesn’t feel the same about you?”
I blinked, but then, well, I laughed. It was dry as I shook my head. “Pretty sure it was just physical for him, and thinking about it, I think that was the same for me too.”
And maybe, if I drilled that into my head enough, I’d believe it. Someday…
I’d been overzealous with my thoughts, my words. Bru’s hands came together, and when he studied the table in deep thought, I realized what I’d said. I just put that out there that his brother and I fucked. I rubbed my temple. “That was TMI.”
And well, weird. That was just the ease of Bruno, though. Easy. I felt like I could just talk to him, and I should be able to.
I rubbed my hands, shifting. I had made things weird and didn’t know how to address it.
“It was honest.” Laughter touched his voice, but he was being kind again. It was weird, and I shouldn’t have said it.
But why shouldn’t I have?
Bru and I were friends, and we should be able to talk. This was his brother, but we had a history too.
Friends.
I didn’t know why this felt awkward, besides, well, the obvious. I suddenly felt the need to apologize, but the moment passed.
Bru braced his arms. “And you don’t feel anything for him? I mean, not anymore.”
