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PROLOGUE
Aspen - age 12
I held my legs, shaking.
Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please.
My eyes shut tight, “Jupiter” by Mozart playing in my head. Symphony No. 41 was always my favorite. It always helped. This entire summer it helped.
Please. Please. Please.
My nails bit into my legs, my fear a white-hot current. He wouldn’t hurt me. He didn’t hurt me.
But he did chase me.
The last time he was here he did, and when the leaves crunched outside the cabin, I hid my face in my lap. I cried. I sobbed. I just wanted my mama. I wanted my?—
The door crept open, and I couldn’t even look. The fear overtook me, and I pressed myself so hard into the corner. I didn’t know what I’d do if he chased me again. I wouldn’t run again. I promised him I wouldn’t run.
I won’t run. I won’t run. I won’t run.
I rocked while I thought it. I rocked while I said it. I knew I was saying it. Over and over, I was saying it out loud, but I wasn’t sure if he could even hear me. I was crying too loud, my wails too loud.
He’ll get mad.
I tried to silence myself, but as the floorboards of the small cabin creaked beneath me, I wasn’t sure I could. He was getting closer. He was…
“Please. I won’t run. I won’t run. I won’t?—”
I jumped when a hand touched me, my voice instantly cutting off. In fact, I slammed into the wall so hard a searing pain shot into my shoulder. I groaned, gripping my arm, but even still, I couldn’t look at him. I just sobbed.
“Aspen…”
My head shot up. It wasn’t his voice but someone else’s. That someone else was my mama, and I leaped from the floor, my body shaking.
Mom grabbed me, burying me in the ruffles of her dress. She was crying too, and she didn’t cry.
“Baby girl. My baby.” Tear trails ran down her dark cheeks, her hands gripping me, my locs. My mama was crying, really crying.
She fell to the floor, me in her arms like I was five instead of twelve.
“Baby girl, did he hurt you?” she asked me, and I gasped.
She knew about him. She knew about what he’d done.
I couldn’t say anything. Well, I did say something, but it was just her name over and over. I kept saying mama. That was all I could hear in my head. That and “Jupiter.” “Jupiter” saved me. It kept me from crying most nights being here, screaming.
“Mama.” I absolutely shook in my mom’s arms, and I wasn’t aware when she finally got me up off the floor. Once we did, we moved steadfast, her directing me, holding me.
We weren’t alone.
There were lights outside, flashing lights, cop cars. I saw so many, their lights blinding me in a forest of trees and cabins.
So many cabins.
The one I had been in was one of many, vast, and I was sure that was why he’d chosen it. No one would find me out here, not when the new cabins were being used on the other side of the campgrounds.
I buried my face in my mama’s chest. My mama didn’t have a lot of body to hug, but she held me so hard. She kept me safe, and I hid my face from all the cop cars. I hid my face from all the campers. I saw them too, boys of various ages both older than me and younger in shorts and T-shirts. They all watched my mama and me alongside camp counselors.
