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I was losing myself, and though I could feel that, I didn’t stop. It felt so good. Something about this girl was drugging me out.
“Thatcher?”
Her effects were apparent when I was hugging her after, long after. I had Aspen in my arms after we fucked, a place I put her. “Yeah?”
“You falling asleep?”
I had been, which was crazy. I didn’t fall asleep easily lately. Things in my household were pretty fucking stressed. It didn’t matter that I was away at school. I faced Snowflake, following the silhouette of her body in the dark. How long had we been fucking lying here? It hadn’t been dark when we got here. I closed my eyes. “Maybe.”
It was kind of nice being here with her, warm. I grabbed her hip with my eyes closed, massaging her ass, and she shoved at me.
“Well, we can’t. I…” My eyes popped open when she shifted away. I didn’t like it. She huffed. “I should probably get back to campus.”
I didn’t know if she was concerned about classes in the morning or what because today’s were shot. She started to move across the bed, but she was little, and I wasn’t. I got her back easily, which made her balk, but she didn’t fight. I closed my eyes again. “Snowflake, you missed whatever classes you had today, so you might as well sleep.”
The same went for me, and school was about the only thing I still had a lock on. It was the only thing I could control in my life lately, so I didn’t miss shit.
I had today. I had for her, and if I thought about that shit too much, I’d probably try to escape this bed too. I grasped Aspen by the hip, keeping her close, but she made more of an effort against me.
She wriggled. “Dude, I can’t sleep here.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t.” She sat up. Mostly because I let her. She turned on the light, and even though the fixture was shoddy, it set a glow to her that distracted. I kissed the lipstick off her lips, and though I think the shower had done the rest of her makeup, that didn’t matter.
She was fucking flawless.
Honestly, flawless wasn’t a good enough word for how good this girl looked completely fucking natural in front of me. Girls usually overdid that makeup shit when it came to me, but nothing did it for me more than a girl fresh out of the gym or just out of fucking bed. Aspen Davis had that shit in spades, her face flushed, her braid over her naked shoulder. She’d done that with her hair after we got out of the shower, and it rested near one of her brown bandages. This one was on her arm, and I traced it with my finger.
She let me for some reason, following it with her big eyes. I didn’t know why I was touching her, or why she was letting me. She bit her lip. “I can’t stay.”
“And you’ve yet to tell me why.”
“Why do you want to?”
Her mouth parted, as if to say something else, but she paused. She’d been self-assured before and a fucking badass in the woods, but seemed hesitant to be that way now.
Was Aspen Davis being fucking shy? I’d seen it before at the rave, but she’d put it away.
She studied my finger again. I circled a mole on that space where shoulder met chest. She was so soft.
A shift moved in her throat. It was slight, but I noticed. Her teeth lodged into her lip again. “Anyway, I can’t. I don’t mind sleeping naked, but I need something for my hair. I’m not putting my head on these pillowcases.”
She eyed them warily, and I noticed she’d completely glossed over the first question she’d asked me.
I was kind of glad for that. I didn’t have the answer, but if she was worried about her hair, I got her on that. I got out of bed.
“Where are you going?”
I shrugged my boxers on. “To get you something for your hair.” It took a second to get dressed, and by the time I turned around, Aspen’s full lips had parted again. “What? I’ll be back. I might have to drive around for a bit, but I’ll find you something.”
She blinked. “Find me what exactly?”
“A silk pillowcase, right? Or a bonnet.” Her eyes expanded to the width of her face, and I chuckled. “Aspen, you’re not the first black girl I’ve dated. I got you. I’ll be back.”
Grabbing my keys, I went in quick time. Mostly because I didn’t want to see her reaction to what I just said. I mentioned dating, and I didn’t know why I said that.
I left before I thought too much about it. It was dangerous for me when thoughts caught up. It was best to outrun them.
