AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You understand that, don’t you?” she asks.
“I do.” There’s no denying it. I’ve been where she is. Asking for and needing the protection of others. When Ice rescued Edge, we were getting beaten to death by some assholes who wanted Edge’s bike. We had nothing. Least of all a means to defend ourselves. As I almost died before he saved us, I swore that would never happen again.
And it didn’t.
“Are you gonna say no?” she asks.
I shake my head. “How can I say no to you?”
An even brighter smile crosses her face. “You’ll teach me everything you know?”
I laugh, can’t help it. “You don’t want to know everything I know. But I’ll teach you enough so you don’t ever need to be scared again.”
She extends her hand across the table. “Deal.”
We shake on it. The touch of her skin against mine sends a slow-flowing river of electricity through my whole body. I guess that seals the deal.
Though a loud voice in the back of my head is telling me not to turn her into a killer. But why not? Then we’ll both be the same and she’ll truly be safe. Just like I was when I finally became one.
A kiss would seal this deal better.
But I don’t think she’s ready for that yet. Or maybe I’m not. Because I think I’m seeing the real Ariel for the first time. And she’s not the type of woman you steal kisses from. She’s the type who takes them from you.
10
Ariel
I cycled through all the emotions after my freak out at the derelict retirement home: panic, frustration, anger, fear, sadness, hopelessness, dread. Basically just different nuances of the same thing. All bad. All negative.
But what I settled on was something different. Something I haven’t felt in a long time. Maybe never. I don’t have a name for it. A single word could never describe it anyway. It’s something to do with power and maybe hope, but I’m not sure yet.
And it definitely came after I admitted to Ruin just how much I wanted to hurt the men that hurt me.
I could never admit that to anyone. Not in my perfect upper class suburban life. Not even the therapists I saw. Not even my sister and our new friends, even though they all intimately know the dark side of life.
But I could admit it to Ruin. He’s been there. He knows what it’s like to hate the people who destroyed your life. I wish he’d told me about all that sooner. Then I wouldn’t have spent so much time pushing him away.
“So what now?” he asks as we finally leave our table at the roadside burger joint.
The sun is setting in hues of dark yellow and for once I know exactly where the day went. I haven’t had that luxury for so long. My days just blend together into endless hours of being lost, stuck and alone. Today was eaten up by a glorious bike ride and a good talk with a friend. I don’t want it to end.
“We can get started on those self-defense lessons we talked about,” I suggest.
He makes a move as though to check his watch, realizes he’s not wearing one then gazes off into the sunset with a tight, troubled look on his face.
“I gotta be somewhere soon,” he mumbles.
Is this how it’s going to be? I asked my family for shooting lessons and self-defense classes, but everyone, including all the doctors, didn’t think it’d be a good idea. My mom actually paled and clutched her chest whenever I brought it up.
“You’re already backing out?” I ask. “So what was that before? Were you just telling me what I wanted to hear?”
Normally, I’d keep quiet at being thwarted and seethe in silence these days. I’ve gotten used to not getting what I need. Or what I want. So used to it, I’ve stopped asking and just let others steer my life. My mom and dad. My shrinks. My sister.
He grins and shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything.
“What?” I snap.
He looks great when he smiles, carefree and boyish. Seeing it reminds me of the time before, when I was innocent and pure and still had dreams and liked boys.
