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The sound of brakes screeching sounds outside and then the front door flies opens and Veronica rushes in, heads straight for me and gives me an even tighter hug than mom did.
“I’m fine, Nic,” I say.
“I was so worried,” she mumbles and keeps hugging me.
“Why?” I ask and extricate myself from her arms. “I was with Ruin.”
“Even so,” she says. “I imagined the worst. You were so vulnerable… so distraught… I just… “
“Just what?”
“Didn’t want anyone to take advantage of you.”
Anger is rising in my chest, white hot and unstoppable. But I don’t want it to be. They were so worried about me. I ruined their entire day. But I hate this reason for their worry. Especially coming from Veronica. She’s dating Ruin’s friend. They’re all supposed to be friends. I hate her thinking he’d take advantage of me with my very soul.
“He wouldn’t do that,” I say and stuff my clenched fists into the pockets of my jeans.
“I know he’s done a lot for us, but there’s things you don’t know about him… things from his past…” Veronica says.
“I know all about that,” I say, wondering if it’s the truth. But I know enough. I’m sure of that.
“Things like what?” Mom asks in a cracked voice.
Veronica looks at her, a tight expression on her face.
“Nothing you need to worry about, Mom,” I say to hopefully prevent Veronica from saying too much. Or anything at all. “I know what I’m doing. And I need to stand on my own one of these days. I’m sorry I made you worry. Now I’m going to sleep.”
I walk to the French doors, open them and walk back into the night. To my little guest house where I doubt I’ll fall asleep any time soon.
First, I need to process and relive every little detail of today over and over again like I’d planned to do since Ruin dropped me off. Nothing can take away from the magic that was today. Not even the argument I just left unfinished with my family. They wouldn’t understand the breakthrough I had today. Just as they might never understand me.
Because the person who came back to them after I was abducted is not the girl they knew. And I never will be. Even if that’s all they want.
13
Ruin
The sun has risen and the party has died down somewhat, though the music is still blasting and some diehard partiers are still dancing and shouting. Edge, Bane, and Archer went to bed, Fossil is snoring with his head on the table, as are two of the Forsaken Outlaws MC members we played poker with. Joker, the woman named Karma and me are the only ones still awake. Though I’d rather be sleeping too. But I can’t leave Fossil alone with Joker and I’m not about to carry him to bed like a parent. That would look weird, and he probably wouldn’t take kindly to me trying. Plus, it gives me the chance to find out more about Joker.
He’s not a big talker, which I’ve found out after trying to engage him all night. I also found out he takes poker seriously, doesn’t have any tells I could notice and drinks in moderation. But his nice, quiet guy act is just that, an act. His eyes are sharp and serious when he thinks he’s not being watched. I don’t know if those observations of mine are worth shit. Probably not.
“So, Karma, how do you like our neck of the woods?” Joker asks her.
She visibly startles at hearing her name, because she’s just been sitting there, staring blankly at the opposite wall and twisting the ring on her left middle finger. It’s a man’s ring, with a skull and an engraving that I can’t read.
“It’s North Cali,” she says. “I’ve been here before.”
She’s not much of talker either. I noticed that several times last night as I tried to find out more about their MC. None of the Forsaken Outlaws talk much. They don’t ask questions and they don’t answer them either.
“But how do you like it here?” I ask Joker. “Seeing as you’re not from around here either.”
He gives me a bemused look suggesting I don’t know what I’m talking about.
“Or am I wrong?” I add.
“North Cali’s nice, but I prefer it down south. More sun, less wind and rain,” he says. “You asking for yourself or on behalf of the Devils?”
Karma perks up at the question too. They’ve all seen our cuts, we don’t try to hide who we are in this place. The most trouble we’ve gotten over it so far is some pointed questions and dirty looks, which I’ve dodged as best I could. For years, Edge and I, along with Bane, Archer, and Fossil, have forged for ourselves a reputation of being ruthless killers who’d do murder for the smallest infraction. This reputation is independent of us being members of Devil’s Nightmare MC and it has preceded us here. It’ll probably follow me around forever, no matter how much I try to outrun it.
