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Accompanied by a smiley face that has nothing on how widely I’m smiling as I read it.
Yes, right now! I reply, belatedly realizing he’d sent it almost two hours ago.
I’ll come get you, he replies almost instantly anyway.
I arrange for us to meet at the mall just outside of town though. That way I can leave my car there and let him take me for a ride, which I’m sure will work to clear my head where the shower failed.
I change outfits three times, finally opting for a pair of wide leg jeans, a very tight, low-cut crop top and a black leather jacket with silver studs and gemstones my sister got me for my birthday after we’d started hanging out with the new old ladies of Devil’s Nightmare MC. I don’t have any biker boots yet, but that can be remedied fast.
Veronica and mom are lounging by the pool as I exit my guest house and dad is there too, using the large net to clear the pool of bugs and debris. The way they all turn in my direction makes me certain they’d been waiting for me to emerge.
“You got in late last night,” Mom observes in a gentle tone. But the tight smile on her face tells me she’s not pleased by it.
I walk over to them and sit on the edge of Veronica’s lounge chair.
“Yeah, I spent the day with the Happy Paws people, and then went by Eden’s bookstore for a cup of tea,” I say.
I don’t like lying to my family, but I’m not about to reveal that I spent a good chunk of yesterday shooting at empty beer bottles and cans.
“How did it go at Happy Paws?” Veronica asks, rising so she’s sitting next to me.
“Good,” I say. “I explained about the other day and they understood. I also told them I’d still like to help, so I’m going over there now. They need some help releasing the cats. I think that should help me get over what happened the other day. Letting them go will be like the antidote to trapping them.”
I ramble on when I’m lying. I wonder if my family knows this. Hopefully not.
“Great, I’ll come with you,” Veronica says and stands up.
My face heats up and there’s a huge lump in my throat all of a sudden.
I stand up too. “I’m already late. And I think I’d like to do this on my own.”
I look deeply into her eyes, willing her to understand and hoping she won’t see the lie. I can’t tell any of them about Ruin yet. Not until I know if it’s going anywhere. Because it very well might not be. And besides, their reaction will be exactly the same as Eden’s was last night.
But whatever is in Ruin’s past isn’t here now. I trust him the way I never thought I’d trust a man other than my dad. And I’m certain I can face the darkness with him. Because he knows darkness too.
Veronica nods and looks at me understandingly. “Sure, I get it. Have fun.”
I almost break down and admit I’m lying, but instead I just thank her hastily, say goodbye to them and leave by the garden gate.
It’s not until I’m at the mall parking lot where Ruin is already waiting for me that I’m fully over my guilt for lying to my family. He’s standing beside his bike, everything from his hair to the buttons of his cut and the chrome parts of his bike sparkling in the sun and it’s hard to think of anything else but how good he looks. Imposing without being threatening. Dark yet light in all the right ways. And I love the way his gaze envelops me whole, like he’s holding me in his palms as I walk up.
“Let’s go for a ride,” I say as I reach him. “A nice long one.”
“Hey, we said breakfast first,” he says. “I’m starving.”
But he’s grinning like maybe he doesn’t mean it.
I shake my head, grinning right back. “We can stop somewhere on the way.”
He stops arguing and climbs on his bike. I get on behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. As for the first time since yesterday afternoon, when I held him like this last, I feel all the pieces of my mind—my soul?—clicking into place. I don’t try to analyze that thought. I don’t try to grasp it and hold on to it. I just let it linger.
That’s easy as we ride off, the tires whooshing against the pavement, the rumbling of the bike filling all the available space in my mind and my body, and the wind blowing away all the residual darkness there. He takes us down all our regular country lanes and some new ones, the views opening up before us all perfect, and all glorious.
The sun is warming my face, his body is so solid and so strong in my arms and I don’t actually recall ever feeling this at peace, this light and untroubled. It’s a welcome feeling. I hope it lasts for ever and ever.
I have no idea how long the ride was, but it ends too soon as he pulls up into that same roadside burger joint we ate at on our first date.
“I’m sorry, but I’m gonna pass out if I don’t get some food in me,” he says apologetically once he turns the engine off and makes it possible to talk again.
