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“I get it. Come home as soon as you can. I’ll try and wait up.”
“Hopefully it won’t come to that. I love you, Hayles.”
“Me too. Bye.”
I quickly hang up before he can hear every ugly thought in my head. Jealousy is not something I’m used to. I don’t know how to handle everything swirling around in my mind. I feel so out of control. I need to take hold of something and decide what the end is. I’m tired of all the things happening to me.
Eli always tells me that a good, long, hard run can solve most problems. If I was at Mom and Dad’s, I’d lap the pool until my arms felt like they were going to fall off. I guess the treadmill in the workout room on the roof is going to have to do. After I change into my sweats and hoodie, there’s a knock at the door. I’d forgotten I ordered a bag of groceries to make my mom’s famous salmon. I don’t even want to look at the food now. I put it all away under the goal of making it tomorrow night.
I wonder what will prevent that from happening?
I run and run and run. I run so hard and so fast my legs burn. My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. The machine enters cool down mode and lowers the incline so that eventually I can step off. Even though I know I’m on flat ground, the world feels like it’s on a tilt.
My workout app goes off on my phone. My heart rate is way out of the target range. I grab on to the side rail with my left hand and kill the motion. The beat in my ears is nearly as loud as my feet were a moment ago. Fuck. I lie down on the yoga mat, close my eyes, and do some guided breathing on my phone.
I give myself five minutes lying like this before I slowly sit up. I’m not as dizzy, but my body doesn’t feel great. I’m curious as to how far I ran tonight. When I look at the app, it tells me I was doing twelve-minute miles. I ran seven miles. I’ve never run more than a 5K in my life. No wonder I feel like absolute ass.
It takes me a few minutes to drag that ass, along with the rest of me, downstairs and into the shower. The warm water beating on my body feels so nice. I’m all cleaned up by ten, and Wes is still not home, with no text. I slam my phone down on the counter and start staring into the refrigerator. I’m the farthest thing from hungry, but I know I should eat something to aid in the recovery.
I’m in the middle of my second piece of avocado toast when I hear the door open. If this was five hours ago, I would be off this couch, flying into his arms. But it’s not. He didn’t do the one thing I asked. Keep me posted. Here I am like the lovestruck idiot, people must think I am waiting for whatever scraps I get.
Everything he has with him hits the floor with a thud in the entryway. He comes around the corner with his ball cap pulled low. His hoodie strings are pulled tight, and his board shorts are wrinkled as hell from the flight. He looks more like a hungover college student right now than the sought-after sports agent he is.
“Hey, baby.”
“Hey. Did your phone die?”
“I deserve that. I do.”
“You know, Wes, I’m not mad that you were there for her again. What I am mad about is that you seem to keep breaking promise after promise to me. I don’t care that they might be little ones to you. For me, the little things say everything.”
“I know they do. I know and I’m sorry. I am trying, Hayley. It may not seem like it to you, but I am trying. I missed you.”
I set my plate down on the table. I want to get up, but the beating I gave my legs, the ache in my belly, and the ache in my heart won’t allow me to get up. “I’m… this is hard for me, Wes. I’m trying too. I’ve never tried so hard for it not to matter.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Of course it matters. All of it does. Do you doubt that I love you?” I look down while I pick slowly at the blanket. “Hayley?”
The way he says my name; it breaks my heart.
“I know you love me. I do. I just need you to be with me and take care of me and let me take care of you.”
Wes takes his ball cap off and tosses it to the table in front of me. He slides a finger from my elbow, up across my shoulder, stopping under my chin. He lifts it softly so I can see his eyes. “Come to bed with me, baby. Please? I don’t want to think anymore. I just want to feel you wrapped around me.”
I rub my cheek into his waiting palm before I stand beside him. Wes pulls me into his chest, folding his body over the top of mine. In his search for comfort, I seem to have found my own.
Chapter Seven
Dylan
I’ve been trying to keep a low profile since our after-work meeting with Elyse. I stay in my office mostly or work from home. Eli has taken a vested interest in the security and IT teams. He’s had private meetings with one member he trusts to find out the hows and whys of things, so he can make changes across the board under the veil of security for all. It’s not wrong, but it’s not the truth either.
I can’t believe she stood there and watched. The things she described could only have come from someone who paid attention for a long time. She knew what Eli and I were wearing… or not. She knew our hair, the table settings, everything. I feel sick thinking about it. It’s one thing for me to prance my naked body out in front of Wes, which I wouldn’t do now that I know him, as my choice. It’s something completely different when it’s without your knowledge. Sex was never dirty for me ever until that day.
Eli’s been trying to get me to let him handle it. That’s fine. It really is. If I was handling it, it might end up looking more like an MMA fight than a business legal battle. As we were going to sleep last night, he asked me for one thing, forget it for tomorrow. The last thing he said was he wanted my birthday to be one for the record. A quarter century around the sun is a big deal, and he wants me to shine and not let her dull one second.
Many years my birthday has been a passing thought. I’d never really wanted to make a big deal about it in any way. I’ve always sort of thought age is nothing but a number. This year is different because of him.
Things just feel bigger and more important since Eli’s accident and watching the two people closest to us nearly implode. Either way, my handsome husband is not going to let this day or evening go by with zero fanfare. My morning begins with a steamy shower in more ways than one.
