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When I got back from my cross-country couple of weeks from hell, I shut out nearly everything but Hayley for two days. She called in to work that first day just so we didn’t have to leave the bed. We didn’t. There wasn’t even any sex involved. There didn’t need to be.
We were so tired that we lay there all night and into the early afternoon. We only logged on to our phones long enough to set our out of office and check for emergencies. We were supposed to be part of a surprise daytime celebration for Dylan’s birthday. I called Eli while Dylan was in the bathroom and told him it was a no-go. I know he could tell by my voice that this wasn’t an ordinary, I’m sorry we can’t make it. Dylan didn’t know so that part made us feel better.
Hayley crawls back into bed and back into my arms. Her body wrapped in my sweatshirt is something I will never tire of. It’s like I’m claiming her when I’m not even there. She curls up under my chin as I fold her tiny body into my chest. “You okay?”
“I’m okay. Just out of it. I’m glad we took this time. I needed it to function.”
“I hate that’s where we are, Babe. We’re already simply functioning. We should be going places, doing things, having sex three times a day because we can.”
“Can you?” she jokes.
“Very funny, Merlin.” I start to tickle her. “That’s the first time I’ve seen you laugh in…a long time.”
“I laugh all the time. What are you talking about?”
“You haven’t though. I’ve been watching. I know you don’t think I pay attention. I do.”
“Wes, I don’t want to argue our bubble away. It won’t be long before it pops, and you’ll be gone again.”
“You know this time of year is busy as hell. It won’t be like this forever.”
“No. You’re right. Then it will be draft season is over and then we’re filling that space with parenting schedules, doctor appointments, drop off and pick up. I’m not saying that to sound selfish. That’s not what I mean. It’s just going to always be a trade-off and you and I will come second, third…last.”
“I feel like I ask you this in every conversation we have. What do you want me to do, Hayley? I don’t want to keep disappointing you.”
Hayley pulls the sleeves of my sweatshirt over her chilled hands. I can feel her forehead press deeper into my chest. “I wish you could understand. I wish you could feel what it’s like to be me in this situation. I wish I had the words.”
“Tell me in any way you can.”
“I have. Tell me how you want this to be. Maybe I’ll find my place that way.”
“Find your place? You don’t think you have one?” She shrugs her shoulders and starts chewing on the ends of her sleeves. “Really?”
“Meeting Hannah would go a long way, I think. I hope. I need it to happen, Wes. Please make it happen.”
“Okay. Okay. I’ll do what I can to make it a reality. What else can I do besides stay here in bed with you? Not that I mind, it’s just not practical.”
“Maybe I could work remotely and come on your next trip with you? I can work when you have to be in negotiations or meetings, then we’d have nights together at least. It would be like being here only somewhere else.”
“Do you think your boss and Eli would go for that?”
“I can talk to Eli. Logistically I think it will be fine. I don’t know if it’s ever been allowed for my department or for the junior level. My last name has to be good for something, right?”
I chuckle. “That was a bit of fireball. I’m glad it’s still there. I was getting worried.”
“I’ll let you know if you need to worry. Right now, I don’t think either of us needs more. Do you?”
Chapter Eight
Dylan
The magic of my birthday lingered into the weekend and even followed me to work on Monday. There was a new bouquet from Wes and Hayley on my desk this morning where the roses were last week. We made great use of them off the stems and on the floor and bed. I used to want to go out every weekend and now all I want to do is stay in with Eli.
I get a longing look from him when we part at my office. I’m mostly back to normal today. The shock of what Elyse is doing is starting to wear off. Now I’m more pissed than anything. Eli and I talked about it in the wee hours of Sunday morning. If worse comes to worse, we’ll tell Jack what happened and ask for his advice.
For now, we just play the game.
I don’t have any ALITE meetings this week so she shouldn’t have to stop in for anything. Eli is ready to lay the new restrictions on our Ms. Nordby at the drop of a hat. He’d have already done it if he didn’t think she was a completely loose cannon. For employed staff, the preapproved entrance policy on weekends is effective today. Not that this is a problem Eli said, but it will set the precedent for his next move.
