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“I think about all the things they’ve seen and done together. It’s incredible. Just think, everything in these walls, the house, everything is because of them. Wow.”
“I do. I think about it every time I see them. I’ve always wanted what they have, a partner. Not just in love, but in life. They are each other’s partner in crime. I have a feeling there’s been some shady goings on for them.” I laugh.
“If that’s the case, good for them. Now I know what to expect fifty years from now.”
I know for her it was an offhand comment. For me, it means the world. “I love what you just said. You’re planning on fifty years. You’re planning our life like that.”
“Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Viper, I didn’t mean it like that.” I set my bowl down on the table. “Victoria stopped talking about the future right after the honeymoon unless it had to do with her work. I know comparison is the thief of joy. I just need you to hear me out.
“Every time you tell me you’re at least considering something or looking to five, ten, even fifty years from now, that gives me hope for all the topics you’re not ready to look at. Dreams that I’ve had since I was old enough to know what they truly meant are still on the table. That makes me beyond content.”
“Wow. Not where my aim was, but I’ll take it.” She leans in to kiss me. “This passion of yours is certainly infectious.”
“I can see that. Skye told me you’re leading two other campaigns besides your daily work, the foundation, Jill, and your personal time. I don’t want you to burn out.”
“I’ll tell you or her if it’s too much. Look, Eli, you don’t have to keep proving yourself all the time. Your reputation is solid. For me, I have to work twice as hard because I’m your wife. They have to see I’ve got it instead of assuming I’m here because of you.”
“Dylan, you know that’s not true.”
“Of course I do. Just look at Elyse. Do you think she’s the only one of her kind out there? I know for a fact she’s not. I have to be better prepared than everyone. I’ll promise you if it becomes too much, you’ll know, and Skye will know. Do you trust me?”
“You know I do.”
“Then let me be the Sawyer I know I can be.”
Dylan
This day has gone by in a blur. I’m just packing up to leave the studio for a late dinner with Eli at home when Jill pops her head in.
“I thought I heard you in here rehearsing.”
“I hope you don’t mind. I had a little energy left after our planning session and used the room.”
“Of course not. What would they be used for if not for studio time? Were you working an old piece or trying something new?”
“The music is a cut I’ve used before, but I wanted to try and reinvent how I saw it. I used it for my senior show.”
“Ah, yes. I thought I recognized it. Your group piece, right? I really enjoyed the symbolism in it.”
“Tell me what you saw. I’d like to see if it was how I had it in my head.”
“The way you designed it instantly made me focus on you. I think it could have been read in a couple of ways. You were either trying to draw the group to you or you were showcasing how alone you were feeling.”
Wow. Not that I should be, but I’m stunned she took the time to even consider it. “Honestly, it was both. At the time, I was trying to lead this passionate group of dancers through adversity and make it the best audition piece I could. Also, I did feel alone. Eli and I had just started seeing each other. I liked how he looked at me and my dreams. We couldn’t really be public with our relationship in the beginning, so sometimes that was hard for both of us.”
I can tell she’s processing everything I’ve said and the more we get to know each other, the more I see her not only as someone to admire, but she’s also becoming a true mentor for dance and life.
“How does the music feel to you now? Where are your instincts leading?”
She asks the question I’ve been pondering for about an hour. “Now I sort of see it as a slow rise to, I don’t know, freedom? I’m now a wife. I’m no longer a student, at least in the scholastic sense. I’m so different than I was before. I’m still the same too. Maybe I’m looking at it with a new sense of passion, pride, and like a phoenix to the new chapter in my life. It felt sad before. Now it’s sort of a triumph. Does that sound weird?”
Jill comes in closer from the hallway, setting her bag down next to the short row of chairs in front of the mirrors. “You’re asking the wrong person about something weird.” She smiles. “If you want to know what I think, I feel like it’s more mature. That happens over time. Your dancing and your choreography will change the more life you experience. It’s a different lens. That means you’re growing. I don’t see it as anything but positive. Would you like me to watch what you have?”
“Really? I don’t want to keep you.”
“Dylan, you’re not keeping me. Start whenever you’re ready.”
