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“Oh, I already know this is my fault. Your husband made that very clear to me on the flight home.”
“Let me ask you, if the roles were reversed, if Hayley had a baby with some other man and she wouldn’t let you two meet or talk about important decisions regarding the baby, in essence leave you on the sideline, how would that make you feel?”
“I’d want to kill him. I’d hate him.”
“Extreme much?”
“The thought of another man near her has always bothered me. Now it would be untempered rage.”
“Would you be willing to fight for her?”
“That had better be a rhetorical question Viper. I’m in no mood.”
“Shut up and listen. I don’t have firsthand knowledge of what Hayley is going through, but I know she’s scared. She’s likely more scared than she’s ever been in her life. She doesn’t know what to do so she’s going for safety. That might not be what she wants.”
“How can I find out if she won’t talk to me?”
He slams the half-empty beer bottle on the table. The liquid bounces out of the mouth and drips down his hand. He’s shaking the drops away, along with a bit of the tension his body is holding. I reach across and quiet his movement with my hand. Wes looks at me with an emotion I’ve rarely seen in him. Defeat.
“If I give you a bit of advice, will you take it?”
“Dylan, if you have any wisdom to shed light on this shit pile, I’m all ears.”
“Do the work.”
“Do the work? That’s it? Do the damn work? What the hell does that even mean?”
“Eli gave you an earful. If you think, which I suspect you do, there’s a bit of truth to it, then you know he’s at least partially right. How can you fix it? Create boundaries with Hannah. You don’t have any right now. Tell her about Hayley. Make sure she knows that she will be involved heavily in your child’s life. Make this a safe place for Hayley to come back to when she’s ready.”
“What if Hayley doesn’t want to come back? What if this is it?”
“I hope that’s not true for both of you. Even if it takes a long time, or for the sake of argument, never, you need to get shit straight for your child. You are going to co-parent this kid with Hannah forever. If you don’t set it up right now, it could be a shitshow in ways you haven’t thought of. Focus on that. Be a dad.”
“I don’t know how, Dylan. That kid is going to be born in less than two months and I haven’t a fucking clue what to do. I’m supposed to be able to lean on Hayley.”
“Lean on yourself for once, Mav. Step up. Show everyone, including yourself, you’ve got this. I know you think you are, but you’re not alone. Eli and I are right here.”
He stares at the sweatshirt he’s had tucked beside him and pulls it into his lap. “Funny thing, I never had a problem being alone until Hayley.” He pulls the balled material to his nose and inhales deep. Wes rubs his cheek along the rich green fleece. “What is she going through right now?”
“Well, I can’t say for sure, but I’d imagine she’s a lot like you are. She’s scared, alone, afraid of what the next step is.”
“I want to help her.”
“Learn all you can about what could be going on in her body and her mind. Then do the things that I said. It’s like what they tell you on the airplane. You have to put your mask on first before you can help others. Put your mask on and breathe, Wes.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Elijah
The entire drive out to my parents’ house I simply try to clear my mind. I don’t want to appear to have any agenda or questions. I want to go be there for Hayley and listen. It’s rare I drive without music. I don’t want anything to sway my already sunken mood, so the focus is on the sounds of the city, then to the sounds of the suburbs, and finally to simply my breath.
I park in my usual spot. I’d hoped I’d see a few signs of normalcy. My mother in the gardens, my father coming home from a round of golf, Hayley lying out by the pool. The grounds are as eerily silent as I’ve ever felt them. Punching the code into the keypad gives me the only sound besides the birds.
I close the door, and the cat is the first to greet me. I pick her up into my arms and walk into the kitchen. My mother is at the sink gazing out over the backyard. I know she hears me. Her head turns toward her shoulder ever so slightly. My hand wraps around that shoulder as my lips meet her cheek. She feigns a smile for me as she leans into my body.
“Where is everyone?” I whisper.
“Your father is wrapping up some business in his study. Hayley’s been sleeping for about two hours. We took turns wandering the halls with her last night. I’m exhausted, Elijah.”
