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My heart twists at the picture of sisterly affection.
“That’s exactly how our family is. You know? Viktor always says I’m just an annoying little pest but that I’m his annoying little pest. And my parents are about as generous as they come.”
The humor of her story comes crashing down on my head as Alina’s weighty admission douses me in cold, hard reality once again.
Falling into a sullen silence, I drop my eyes to the ground and watch it pass beneath me. I never should have asked her to open up about her family. Not only has it humanized them, but I can no longer deny the impact that Sergio’s death would have on Alina.
It would crush her.
It will crush her.
And I will be the one to bring that devastation down upon her.
Unfortunately, the smart thing to do would be to take Viktor and Sergio down together. After all, I have no doubt that Viktor would do everything in his power to avenge his father. So if I want to survive this, I need to kill them both.
And then I will have taken not only her father but her brother from her—just like Sascha was taken from me.
How can I do that now that I know how much they mean to Alina?
Blyat.
I’m already in too deep. I knew I needed to keep my distance if I wanted to maintain a clear head, but I can’t stop myself from falling for Alina when I care this much about her already. She’s impacting my resolve without even trying.
And now I’m trapped between breaking her heart and breaking my vow to avenge the person I cared about most in this world. Sascha deserves to be avenged. Sergio needs to pay for what he’s done.
But how can I hurt Alina when she’s done nothing wrong?
17
ALINA
The silence that falls between me and Mishka rings in my ears. The amusement that had played across his lips moments before vanishes, making my heart sink. His hard-won smiles are addictively appealing, and I crave them as soon as his signature frown reappears.
I wonder if talking about growing up with my brother might not have made him think about his own. About the loss of someone close to him, of knowing he no longer has that connection special to siblings. That would break my heart.
Biting my lip, I glance at him from the corner of my eye, hoping it’s a momentary pause. But I can see the walls rising behind his eyes, the brooding quiet that I’ve grown used to.
Our night together last night was amazing, a connection beyond my wildest expectations. And this morning, he’s been attentive, concerned for my welfare but not overbearing. He gives me the kind of respect and independence that tells me he believes in me. He thinks I’m strong.
And at the same time, he’s there to offer a helping hand as soon as I need him.
I love that about Mishka.
It’s like he understands me without even trying.
But I don’t understand this distance he puts between us.
Like a light switch, he goes from tender and charming to stone-cold indifference. And it gives me worse whiplash than I got from rolling down that hill last night.
Chewing the inside of my lip, I steal glances at him every now and again. Together, we continue our trek without a sound.
The crisp morning air warms into something much muggier, more stifling, and I shrug out of Mishka’s jacket as we both seek shelter beneath the trees. He takes it from me without a word, shrugging back into it like it’s nothing. Leaves and twigs crunch under our feet as we walk, the only sound that interrupts the sullen tension radiating from my mercurial companion.
I can’t help but feel like the longer we’re in each other’s presence, the less Mishka likes me. It puts my stomach in knots, leaving me on the verge of tears simply because his frown looks personal. Like he no longer wants to be near me.
“So, was last night just a one-time deal, or what?” I ask, my tone sharper, more defensive than I had intended now that I’ve finally found the courage to speak my mind. “Are you just done with me now that we’ve slept together? Time to go back to pretending I don’t exist?”
Mishka’s steps falter as he looks up to meet my eyes for the first time in over an hour. His brows soften from their dark frown, his blue eyes shifting from troubled to something sadder.
