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I miss seeing you, Ky.
There it is again, this time in print. She called me Ky the other day and I almost blew a nut. The way she shortened my name sent shock waves right to my groin. And now I have it in writing. I bang my head against the locker and groan. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” There’s no one to answer, probably because no one knows what to say. I’d love to be the type of man she deserves, but it’s not in the cards for us. I’m damaged, responsible for two grown women and a kindergartener, who are going to follow me wherever I go. How does someone build a relationship when there is so much baggage?
I let her text simmer. I don’t know how to respond to her without either coming off as rude or giving her an that inclination I like her. I’m in a tough spot and no matter what I say, it’s going to come out wrong on her end.
In the end, I don’t text her back. I pocket my phone, close my locker, and head anywhere but the house.
eleven
Thea
September turns to October, and Northport comes alive with fall colors. If I thought this place was picturesque before, it really is something else with the hints of reds, oranges, and yellows adorning the trees in the streets and on campus. The semester is in full swing, and I’m really enjoying my classes. There’s a good group of students in my nutrition class and we all get along well, which is a relief. Well, apart from Marty Edwards who sometimes makes a leery comment or two, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. We all know a guy like him. The type who thinks he’s the super-popular jock with people falling at his feet, or the funny guy with the one-liners everyone laughs at. In reality, he’s the guy who tries too hard to be the class clown and the laughs are probably out of sympathy. I feel for him. The funny, cocky exterior might be a guise for something more serious going on in his private life so I’m patient with him. You never know if it might be a cry for help. And there I go with the pseudo psych analysis. What is it with me trying to figure out the inner workings of complicated boys?
Speaking of which, after his text exchange with me a few weeks ago, yet again, Kyler Rose has become a ghost. Either that, or he’s simply ghosting me. I’ve long stopped trying to figure him out. I’ve had to, because it was consuming me day in and day out, and it was driving me crazy. The last thing I need is to become obsessed with someone who clearly wants to be left alone. Jude assures me it’s not me, it’s Kyler who has the issue, and once again said he’s got some things going on in his personal life which are taking up a lot of his time and keeping him away from the house. I get it. We all have things in our personal life that consume us from time to time, but what’s his excuse for trying to avoid me at school? He may think he’s stealthy enough to jump behind a tree when he sees me, but I still see him lurking in the shadows. If that’s the way he wants to play it, then so be it. He’s a distraction I do not need.
As is tradition at this time of year, Halloween parties are at the forefront of everyone’s mind and it’s no different back at the house. Apparently, it’s our turn to hold the party at our place, as Mikko, Brad, Saul, and Mike had it at theirs last year. It makes sense we take it in turns as we live on the same street, and at least this means we can be in control of drinks and snacks. Thankfully, it’s not going to be too wild—my roommates are not the type to say it’s open invite—and the guest list includes the hockey team, my classmates, and some other friends of the boys. Millie also has her own set of invites since she’s here most of the time and is an honorary roomie. In all honesty, she might as well move in and take the seemingly vacant room on the second floor, but I guess evicting someone on the basis they are never at home is grounds for being sued.
“So, we need a theme for this year, any thoughts?” Jude asks as we have an impromptu house meeting around the breakfast bar.
“Doctors and nurses?” Nolan immediately suggests, causing groans and a unanimous shout of “veto” from the rest of us.
“I literally don’t understand why this suggestion gets shut down every year,” he complains.
“Because, moron, the sexy nurse thing is so last decade. Plus, you only suggest it so you can see the girls in their tight skimpy outfits while all you guys can get away with wearing a lame shirt and tie and borrow a white coat from a med student.” Millie’s reply comes with a hint of a bite, and I can’t say I blame her; she has a point.
“All right, Mills, don’t get your panties all in a twist,” Nolan teases her.
“You wish I got my panties in a twist over something you said, Noles. Keep trying, sweetie.”
I’ve quickly come to realize this kind of back and forth between Millie and Nolan is usual with them and is a combination of acerbic wit and flirty banter. Neither of them gets offended by the little digs though, so we just tend to let them get on with it.
“Any other suggestions?” Jude patiently continues.
“How about heroes and villains?” Devon offers. “I know it’s been done before, but with the recent onslaught of comic book films being released, at least it’ll be on trend. Which means, there’s bound to be more to choose from costume wise.”
“I’m happy with that,” I agree. “In fact, I’m sure I saw some costumes in the mall the other day, which we can pick up for us. Assuming you’re all happy for us to choose for you?”
“Yes please. You’d be saving us a whole heap of time,” Jude says. “Especially since we’ve got a couple of games coming up, so it’ll be cutting it tight for us to try and get something.”
“No problem. Leave it with us.”
“No screwing us over though, Thea. And especially you, Mills,” Nolan warns us. Millie gives him a wink in response.
“You can trust us, honey,” she tells him, and we grab our purses and leave the house.
* * *
It turns out the costume shop has a ton of costumes for our theme and so we’re a little spoiled for choice on what to get. It’s proof that it pays to be organized and I’m thankful we’re not scrambling for last minute costumes and having to settle for whatever dregs are left. Millie settles for an all-in-one black catsuit together with cat ears and tail on the basis she’s going as Catwoman. I opt for a cute Wonder Woman outfit which comes with truth rope and cuffs. As for the boys, the choice was fairly easy. We picked a Joker outfit for Jude, Captain America for Devon, and Thor for Nolan. Millie had great pleasure in picking Nolan’s out for him, saying the long-haired wig and knee-high boots will suit him. I’m not entirely sure he’d agree, but knowing Nolan, he’ll take the challenge and rock the heck out of it.
“Sooo, without wanting to talk about the elephant—or elephants—in the room, but are we getting costumes for the broody one and the boyfriend?” Millie asks.
I raise my eyebrows at her before responding. “Kyler, your guess is as good as mine. Adam, no. Apparently, he has to work all weekend so can’t drive up.”
The truth is, I’ve not seen Adam since the housewarming party. Sure, we’ve spoken on the phone and FaceTimed, but it’s not the same as seeing him face to face. It’s not as if I can drive to see him, seeing as I don’t have my own car. I feel funny about asking one of the boys if I can borrow theirs, especially as they are so busy all the time and need to transport their huge amount of hockey gear everywhere. Besides, it’s not as if I haven’t asked Adam to come and visit. I have, many times. But each time, I always get an “I’m not sure” or an “I’ve got to finish a project this weekend” and I’m left with a non-committal maybe and a last-minute cancellation. I’m not sure when things started to change between us, but it’s obvious they have. We’re not the same Thea and Adam we were in Silver Lake and the thought saddens me.
“Uh-oh, is there trouble in paradise?” Millie continues.
“He’s just busy. His dad made him head of his own team and they’re working on this huge project. There’s some kind of town council meeting taking place in a few weeks and Adam has to prepare the whole thing. Hopefully when it’s done, he’ll have more time. Besides, I’m going home at Thanksgiving, so I’ll be able to spend some time with him then.”
