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Who she is, is not anyone’s business.
twelve
Kyler
After reading Thea’s text, I scoop Lacey up into my arms and place her on my hip. For some reason, there’s an urgency in my steps, almost as if Thea is a perceived threat, when deep down, I know she isn’t. For years, I’ve been overprotective of Lacey—mostly because of my sister, and her unwillingness to tell us who Lacey’s father is. “He’s a bad guy,” is all Ally ever says, and she fears his family will take her away. It’s my job to keep Lacey safe. I could never forgive myself if something ever happened to her.
“Uncle Kyler, what’s wrong?” Lacey’s tiny hand rests on my cheek. Warmth spreads through me, dulling my icy demeanor.
“Nothing, Lacey Bear.”
“You look mad.”
I am mad. But why? Is it because Thea is at the mall? It’s a public place and I’m bound to run into someone I know. Is it because Thea saw me with my niece? No, it’s because she assumed Lacey was my daughter and didn’t ask me. Thea seems to have a habit of making a lot of assumptions about me. In a way, it’s my fault. I know I’m closed off, a shut book. I know I don’t give a lot of people anything to go on. Probably because I don’t want their sympathy. I don’t feel like divulging my family drama and how my dad bailed, how my mom and sister are bum magnets, and how they both guilt-trip me into everything. And the last thing I want is for any of my friends to try and help. My issues are my burden and no one else’s, and people like Thea would see me as a charity case and jump at the opportunity to fix me. I’m not broken. I’m severely cracked, and no amount of glue is going to keep me from shattering.
Lacey and I walk into a children’s clothing store. I finally set her down and allow her to roam through the racks of clothes. She picks out a handful of shirts, skirts, jeans, and a couple of new pairs of shoes. She excitedly skips to the counter, where I set everything down and she watches the clerk ring her new clothes in. Every folded item has a story in Lacey’s world. She tells the clerk why the purple shirt is her favorite, and how tomorrow she’s wearing the pink skirt. Lacey loves how the shoes she chose light up and asked the clerk if she had a pair. There’s a point during this process when I want to apologize to the clerk, but she seems so practiced and well versed in dealing with kids of this age I let it go and let my niece live in the glory of buying new things. When the total shows on the register, I hand over the cash and wait for my change.
With three new bags in my hand, Lacey and I exit the store. “I’m hungry.”
“Do you want to go get pizza?”
“No, McDonald’s,” she tells me.
Of course, there’s one in the food court, but I don’t really want to go there. Again, Thea is on my mind, and now I find myself looking over my shoulder. I don’t understand why the fact she saw me with Lacey is bothering me, but it is. This is a part of my life I want to keep to myself, yet I’m out in the open where anyone can see me. My own insecurities and reasonings are giving me whiplash.
“Okay, let’s go to the one with the play palace and we’ll play for a little bit.”
Lacey jumps up and down, almost yanking my arm out of the socket. I could let go of her hand, but the irrational fear I feel weighs heavily on my chest. I’m honestly surprised Lacey hasn’t mentioned the death grip I have on her hand.
As soon as we exit the mall, I pick her up again. She doesn’t balk and rests her head on my shoulder. “I love you, Uncle Kyler.”
“I love you the most,” I tell her.
“Am I your favorite?”
Her question makes me laugh. “Of course, you are. Do you see any other nieces hanging around?”
She shakes her head and giggles. I remember the first time she laughed at something I did. She was a few months old and hearing her laugh was literally the best moment of my life. That’s when I started seeing her as a human and not some crying, pooping blob who didn’t sleep when I did.
I was still in high school when Ally came home and told mom and I she was pregnant. My mom wasn’t supportive, barely said a thing to my sister, except she needed to find a way to take care of her child. I held Ally all night while she cried. She was scared. I was too. I didn’t want my mom to kick her out of the house. When my graduation rolled around, I almost stayed home instead of going to juniors. My mentor encouraged me to leave Northport and spread my wings on the ice. Each day I was gone, I called to talk to Lacey. I never want her to think I don’t love her or can’t be there for her. When I go to the NHL, my baggage will come with me, which is another reason to stay closed off to everyone. The place I’m in with my family doesn’t allow for any outside interference. As much as I’d love to date someone—like Thea—it’ll never happen because I’ll never be able to put them first.
* * *
My mom leans into me and whispers, “I’m nervous.”
“I know,” I say as I pat her leg. I’m nervous as well. Today, we find out the fate of the mobile home park, and when everyone must move. The developers invited everyone to a meeting at some fancy posh restaurant. One would think they’d have a buffet or something, but no. If you want to eat, which everyone does because it’s dinner time, then you’re on your own to order. I took one look at the menu and told the server we’ll have coffee. A BLT here costs more than one of my textbooks. It bothers me an establishment can get away with overcharging for two slices of bread, some bacon, a tomato, and generic mayo.
An entire group of suits walk in, and I roll my eyes. They’re each carrying a briefcase instead of the much cooler messenger bags. I groan and my mom gives me the side eye. I don’t know what outcome she’s expecting, but she wrote out a speech about why she needs to live where she does and how their plans for development hurt people like her. I warned her they won’t listen or care; big corporations are all about money. The park owner sold out and didn’t care about his tenants. In fact, I think he’s already taken the money and fled town. I haven’t seen him sleazing around, looking in windows. I’ve never liked him, and I’m glad he’s gone, except for the fact my mom, niece, and sister are about to be homeless.
A suit stands and clears his throat. Not once. Not twice. But three freaking times and I can’t figure out if he’s doing it because he has something stuck or if he didn’t get the attention he wanted the first two times. When the people attending this meeting don’t quiet down, he picks up a fork and a glass of water and bangs the utensil against the glass, and yells, “Be quiet!”
What a pompous ass.
The rest of his minions settle in. One sets out stacks of papers in front of the five empty seats, while another hands out the useless information to us peons. I take it from my mom and flip through the pages—all gibberish. Nothing but plans for the development, how much the investment into Northport is costing these people, and how much it’s going to cost potential renters to lease out space for their business.
Once everyone has settled, the minions sit down next to their fearful leader. I lock eyes with the one who sits on the right and my breathing comes up short. What the fuck? One of these piece-of-shit people is none other than Thea’s boyfriend, Adam. I glare at him, hoping he will look up so I can convey my complete and utter disgust.
When the impatient one starts talking, I focus on Adam. And for the first time in my life, I wish I was some stupid superhero. I’d burn him with my laser eyes and strangle him with my extra-long arms.
