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“She’s wanted to be kissed by you from the first night she met you.”
“She shouldn’t,” I say to her. “I’m damaged and come with more baggage than a full airline flight.”
Thea lets my words sink in. She shouldn’t want to be with someone like me, not when she has the golden douchebag.
“How did you get these bruises?” Her fingers ghost over the bruises I earned last week.
I breathe in heavily and let the air out of my lungs slowly. “Underground fighting, Thea. My mom is being evicted from her home and doesn’t have the money to move. The money is good.”
“Kyler.” Tears well in her eyes.
I shake my head. “I’m okay. They don’t hurt.”
“But you’re going to get hurt.”
I can’t argue with her there. I’ve thought about it a million times over. A punch to the head and I could end my career. Before I can stop her, she presses her lips to my bare chest. I close my eyes and my hand turns into a fist. When her soft, desirable lips touch mine, I let her kiss me. And when her tongue enters my mouth, I welcome her. It’s when she hitches her leg over my hip, I have to stop her.
“We can’t do this, Thea.”
“Why not?”
“Because you have a boyfriend, and while he may be the biggest asshole on the planet, I don’t want you to regret me if something were to happen.”
Thea lies back down and sighs. “I don’t get it, this fight between you and Adam. He’s the whole reason I went out tonight. After your game the other night, he was waiting for me in the parking lot and told me—no he demanded—I move out and into a dorm because of you. Do you guys know each other or something?”
I push her hair behind her ear and let my hand linger there for a moment. “Thea, I’m a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. I keep a lot of shit bottled up because I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. I want you to understand this and remember what I’ve said because I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want you to hate me.” I lay everything on the line, from who is evicting my mom and why, to what I saw Adam doing. Thea cries and I feel about two-feet tall. I pull her into my arms and apologize profusely.
“Adam said you assaulted him,” she mumbles into my chest.
“He wishes,” I say to lighten the mood. “Because he’s your boyfriend, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“See, Ky, you are a good man.”
I adjust slightly so I can look at her. What I wouldn’t give right now to say fuck it and make love to her, to show her how a real man can make her feel. I resign myself to living a fantasy and press my lips to her forehead. “Go to sleep, Thea.”
She nestles into me, putting her arm around me. When I’m on the cusp of falling asleep, she slides her leg in between mine and lets out a little sigh. I’m fucked six-ways-from-Sunday at this point and might as well enjoy her while I can. I rotate just enough to where I’m still I’m holding her, but she’s on her back and can feel every inch of what I’d love to give her.
“Goodnight, sweet Thea,” I whisper in her ear before closing my eyes.
fifteen
Thea
My mind is scrambled. It has been for a few days since the night with Ky. Never did I imagine what started off as some innocent drinks at a bar, would turn into an argument, then undoubtedly the hottest kiss of my life, which ended with a heart-to-heart in his bedroom. The complications of Ky’s life are clear now, but they are still present, and even though he’s shared the load, I know he’s still carrying the burden on his shoulders. I don’t even know where to start to try and figure out what’s going around in my head.
The easiest piece of information he gave me was the fact he has a niece—not a daughter—and she’s clearly the apple of his eye. This much was obvious from the way he was with her at the mall the other day, but the fact he’s admitted he basically provides for her shows me a side to him I never knew before. The caring, protective, family man. The one who would do anything in his power to look after those closest to him.
Then there’s the underground fighting. It turns my stomach every time I think about it. Sure, we’ve all seen Fight Club, we know how Hollywood depicts these types of things with blood and gore and, dare I say it, fatalities. I’m not naïve and know these portrayals are exaggerated for the benefit of the silver screen and the viewer’s entertainment. But I also know in real life, underground fights come with their very real dangers and if Ky’s injuries the other night are only the tip of the iceberg, then I dread what more is to come. I worry that one night he won’t be so lucky, and he’ll suffer a blow to the head resulting in a concussion which will put his career on the ice on hold—or worse still, ruin his life completely. He says he needs the money and I get it; he needs to help his mom out, but surely there are other, safer, ways he can find it? I wish I could make him see sense, but I know he won’t listen. In his mind, this is the only way he can earn enough money to fix his mom’s living arrangements and when it comes to family, you do whatever you can to help.
This brings me to the final bit of information he gave me. The one I’m still having trouble understanding. The fact that Adam has a hand in the development evicting Kyler’s mom and the rest of the residents of the mobile home park. I know his dad is in the construction and development industry. Nelson Construction, LLC are renowned for regenerating rundown areas of various cities and turning them into prestigious, sought-after apartments with their top of the range gyms and indoor pools exclusively for residents. Maybe I am naïve enough not to realize running a successful business means having to be cut-throat in decision making and leaving your heart and goodwill at the door so your mind can be ruthless. What I do know is I have to talk to Adam to find out exactly what’s going on. I hope if I can highlight Ky’s mom’s situation, he’ll try to help in some way. He and I may disagree on Kyler, but surely, he wouldn’t be so cruel as to evict his mom onto the street.
Of course, the other thing I need to raise with Adam is whatever he was doing with his co-worker. When Ky told me he saw Adam with his hands all over whomever this woman is, I didn’t want to believe it. But then, I think back to our recent exchanges and the fact there is an obvious distance between us—not just physically but metaphorically—and I can’t help but fear there may be some truth in what Kyler said. All I know is Adam and I need to talk so I can get the truth one way or the other. If he is seeing someone else, I need to know so I can deal with it appropriately.
I also need to deal with my actions appropriately too. It was wrong for me to kiss Kyler. I’m still in a relationship and despite my attraction to him—yes, I’ve now admitted to myself I am attracted to Kyler, despite the fact I’ve been denying it for so long—I can’t put myself in that position again. But it also felt right. It felt like the match had been lit and a fire ignited in my belly. It felt like I was simultaneously walking on air and walking on coals. I fit perfectly against his body, and we were wrapped around each other in our little cocoon, protected from the outside world. If I could, I’d take us back to the safe space in his bedroom and never emerge, but life doesn’t work that way and so I need to face up to my responsibilities like an adult and deal with the consequences. Unfortunately for me, dealing with the consequences is going to happen sooner rather than later, since I’m currently on my way back to Silver Lake for the Thanksgiving holidays.
“Hey dreamer, you’re being worryingly quiet over there. Everything okay?” Jude asks me, interrupting my thoughts and bringing me back to the present.
“Yeah, sorry, just tired I guess,” I tell him, my half-hearted excuse falling lamely from my lips.
