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“If she continues to stabilize, we’ll try again tomorrow.”
“So, she won’t wake up before then?” her dad asks.
“No. We’re keeping her in a medically induced coma until we can wean her off the machines.”
“Thank you, Doctor.” He nods and excuses himself.
“Legend, why don’t you run home and shower and take a nap? We’ll stay with her,” Heather suggests.
“I appreciate that, but I’m not leaving this hospital without her.”
“Son.” Eric places his hand on my shoulder. “We won’t leave her.”
“I know you won’t. But I can’t either. If I could, I’d take her place. I wouldn’t hesitate to take this from her.” I turn to face my in-laws. “Your daughter is my everything. When I said my vows, I meant every word. In sickness and in health. She needs me. She needs to know that I’m here fighting for her. I can’t take the chance that she needs me and I won’t be here. I should have stayed home yesterday. I knew she wasn’t getting better. I tried to convince her to let me take her back to the doctor, but she was being stubborn. I should have tried harder.” My voice cracks. “I can’t live without her.” Thoughts of what I could have done differently swirl in my mind. I know I can’t go back and change the decision to leave her. I’m struggling to let it go. Maybe when she wakes up, when I see those pretty blue eyes and hear her voice, I’ll be able to push it to the back of my mind.
Heather pushes past her husband to hug me tightly. “She loves you so much. She knows you’re here for her, and this isn’t on you. These things happen, Legend. There was nothing you could have done. I talked to her yesterday morning. She told me how you’d been taking care of her, and she had to force you to go to work. You can’t shoulder this blame.”
“I just need her to wake up. I need her to show me those pretty blue eyes and smile up at me like she always does. I need her to tell me I’m being irrational. I need her to take a full breath on her own because I don’t feel as though I’ve taken one myself since I walked into that bathroom.”
“I love the way you love our girl,” Heather whispers.
“Damn proud to call you our son,” Eric agrees.
“She’s so damn easy to love.” I smile through watery eyes.
“Your friends are out there and want to say hi. Your parents too. We’re going to step out and let them have a turn. We’ll go and grab some food. Can we get you anything?” Heather asks.
“I don’t have much of an appetite, but thank you.”
She gives me a hug, and they’re out the door.
“Did you hear that, gorgeous? There are so many people here to see you, wishing for you to get better.”
A soft knock on the door, and my parents enter. As soon as I see them, tears well in my eyes again. “Hey.”
“How you holding up, son?” Dad asks me.
I shrug. “She’s got another day of this.” I go on to explain the wean test and how she failed and that we can try again tomorrow. “She’s strong. The doctor says her vitals continue to get better, so he’s hopeful that she can pass the test tomorrow.”
“What do you need?” my mom asks.
“Her. I just need her.”
They spend about fifteen minutes or so with us before saying they’re going to my place to clean so that when she does get to come home, the house is free of germs. I thank them and give them both a hug before they go.
“Can we come in?” Emerson asks, peeking her head in the door.
“Yeah. Baby, Em and Rome are here.” I’m talking to her like she can hear me. I don’t know if she can, but if there is even a slim chance, I need her to know I’m still here. I’m still fighting this fight with her.
“Her parents filled us in.”
“Tomorrow.” I nod. “She’ll pass tomorrow.” I’m putting the positivity out into the universe, not only for Monroe but for anyone or any power that might be able to help my girl breathe on her own. My cell phone rings, and I reach for it on the bedside table. I see my grandmother’s attorney’s name on the screen, but I silence the call.
“We can stay with her if you need to take that,” Emerson offers.
“Nah. It’s the attorney.”
Emerson’s eyes grow wide. “Oh shit. The meeting. Tomorrow is your one-year wedding anniversary. I’m sorry. With everything going on, I forgot.”
