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He took another.
“You said you’d let me go,” she said. “Remember? Back at the very beginning. You said if I wanted out then you’d let me go. No harm, no foul.”
“Then maybe I was an idiot,” he said. But he stayed where he was. His eyes had gone dark and flat and dull, turning more moss than green. “But all right. If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” Fight me, she wanted to scream. Do something. Show me you wanted me in the first place. But that was the idiot part of her and she squelched it back down before it could explode and take the pieces of her heart that she was only just managing to hold together with it.
Alex looked down at his watch. “In that case, welcome back. I’ll see you at Deacon in the morning. Gardner will send you a briefing, let you know what happened yesterday and today. I’ll want a report on whatever Sutter might have told you.”
There. Flat and professional. Exactly how she wanted it. So why did she feel like he was stabbing her with every word.
Idiot.
“Okay,” she managed. She felt herself take half a step toward him, forced herself to stop. “In the morning then. Good-bye.”
She turned back to the door, reached for the handle.
Heard the steps behind her. Four quick strides and his hand closed over hers. Her breath caught and she turned and his mouth came down on hers and the world caught fire. There was anger in that kiss. Anger and longing and regret. But beyond that there was pleasure.
Biting, searing pleasure.
There is something wrong with me, she thought wildly as she kissed him back as hard as he was kissing her, as her back hit the door and her arms went around his neck. Something very, very wrong. She was breaking up with the man. She didn’t want him anymore. She couldn’t want him.
She did want him though.
Need screamed though her, gripping like talons. Alex took what she gave and returned it, beat for beat. His hands came around her waist, lifted, urged her legs around him. And then they were beneath the skirt of her dress and her tights ripped and his fingers slid over her and into her, driving her mindless. She writhed over his touch, sank her teeth into the curve where his neck met his shoulder, clung on for dear life as he set up a relentless rhythm. There was the sound of a zip and then his fingers slid free of her and he gripped her hips again.
Green eyes blazed down at her. “Tell me no,” he said. “Stop me.”
She shook her head. “Yes.”
He made a sound of frustration and kissed her again as he thrust into her. His fingers had been good. This was better. The slide and power of him. His lips and his hands and the feeling of being helpless as he filled her and withdrew and filled her again, over and over and over.
His fingers found her clit, pressed into her, and another wave of glorious pleasure spilled through her. She gave up, held on, let him take her as he wanted. Rode him and the pleasure until it broke and crashed over her, making her sob his name as she kissed him again.
The return to reality was a long, long fall. Her breathing slowed with his as their foreheads rested together.
But at long last sanity returned. He eased out of her, eased her feet down, held her a moment until they were both sure she could stand. And then he stepped away.
Silence bloomed. Solid as the marble beneath her feet. She looked down, saw the laddered ruin of tights and her panties. Looked back up at Alex. Her body still throbbed with the feel of him but she wasn’t going to change her mind. She couldn’t change her mind.
The man would be the death of her if she did. He’d just proven that. He was too much. Too hard to resist.
She summoned every last ounce of willpower and stooped to pick up her abandoned purse. She left the underwear where it lay. Her dress was knee length and this was New York. No one would comment on a crazy woman going barelegged in the middle of winter. She’d catch a cab home. Simple.
If only everything was that simple.
If only the man standing in front of her could be.
But he wasn’t. So she did what she should have done all along. “Good breakup sex,” she said. And she turned and walked out his door.
Chapter Nineteen
Gardner was standing next to Alex’s parking space as Alex eased his Jeep to a stop. Damn it. Gardner only ever ambushed him in the parking lot if the news was very good or very bad. Judging by the frown on his face and the way he was studying the tablet in his hand, it wasn’t good news.
Fuck.
He fought the urge to bang his head solidly against the steering wheel until he passed out. Maybe he’d wake up in an alternate universe. One without Will Sutter, baseball, and whatever the hell was making Gardner look like he was about to have a coronary.
