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This summer has meant more to me than I can even tell you. When I came back to Prairie Sky, I was scared, scared of what I would feel and scared of what I would find. What I found were truths about my family and, most importantly, what I found was you. I love you, Bear. With every part of me. More than I ever thought I could love another person. You have filled my heart with memories and washed away any negativity Prairie Sky held for me in the past. For you, I am truly grateful. I know this is not the way you may have chosen for our goodbye to go, but I know that if I were to look you in the eyes one last time, I could never leave. And I need to leave. I need to see my dream through. I need to return to the life I had worked so hard to build before this glorious summer. I hope that without distraction I can decide what I want my life to look like going forward. As you have said to me several times, this is not goodbye, just a “see you later”. Although this letter may seem like a goodbye, after you read my words, I pray it is just a “see you later.”
All my love, Ever
Ben shook his head in disbelief as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. She is gone. She is really gone. He couldn’t feel the warmth of her in his arms again or kiss her sweet, soft lips one last time. An excruciating ache bore into his chest. An emptiness so painful he couldn’t breathe. Rereading the letter his eyes filled with tears, an agonizing sob escaping. Last night I had given her everything I had to give, and she still left without saying goodbye? His pain quickly turned to anger as he slammed his fist down on the kitchen counter, then sank to the floor. His legs folded and his head in his hands. There on that kitchen floor of his farmhouse she gifted him, he wept.
CHAPTER 16
Ever turned down her street, her apartment building coming into view. Getting out of her car, she looked up at the grey sky, overcast and dreary. A reflection of how she felt right now. The drive back to Toronto, long and lonely, making her thoughts drift to Ben. It had been three days on the road, and she had not received a call or text from him. Have I made a mistake? Was I just trying to protect my heart and, as a result, disregarded his? Doubting herself, she looked up to the window of her apartment. Home.
She looked back and forth on either side, the noise of the open patios of restaurants carrying the sound of voices and laughter and the faint sound of traffic. A vast contrast from the peace and quiet of Prairie Sky. Reaching into her car, she retrieved two duffle bags, turning around to lock her doors with her key fob. As she was about to enter her building, a familiar voice sounded behind her.
“You’re here!”
Looking to the side, she saw the familiar face of Whitney Faris. Her shoulder-length blonde hair bobbing as she ran down the street to meet Ever. She was dressed stylishly as always, in a pair of form fitted dark wash jeans, white t-shirt and a purple fitted blazer. Undoubtedly coming from work. Her brown eyes beamed at her friend.
“Hey Whitney!” Ever acknowledged her with a big hug. “I wasn’t expecting you here! How are you doing?”
“Awesome! So glad you’re back! Ever, you look amazing!” she appraised as she held her out to look at her. “You look so tanned and gorgeous! Farm life was good to you?”
Ever laughed, shrugged, and gave her a tired grin.
“Tired though, eh? Long drive?”
“Yes, very long drive.” she sighed, slumping her shoulders forward.
“Okay, let’s get your stuff inside! I can help, then maybe we can order some food?”
“That sounds fantastic.”, Ever replied, grateful for her friend’s forethought.
Handing her bags to Whitney, she retrieved a large box from her trunk, and they made their way up the stairs. Unlocking the door, she entered her unassuming loft apartment. Her queen size bed was off in the back corner, opposite the corner kitchen and in the makeshift living room area a small couch, coffee table, bookshelves filled with art books and a desk. The large window overlooked the street, bringing in lots of natural light. Her easel and a canvas set up by the window along with a rolling work cart holding brushes, palettes, and a menagerie of paints. Her place was small, but cozy, and looked the same as when she left it. Was it always this small?
It took several trips to get all the boxes up the stairs, but the friends finally flopped down on the couch exhausted, feeling accomplished. Taking out her phone, Whitney ordered their dinner from their favorite bistro and leaned over the coffee table, peeking into the box they had set down there.
“So, what is all this stuff?” Whitney inquired.
“Keepsakes, mostly my dad’s stuff, things I just could not give away.”
Whitney nodded and slumped back onto the couch. “I know we didn’t talk much while you were away other than work stuff.” She continued gesturing to Ever’s easel. “But did you get some closure regarding your dad?”
“Mostly,” she answered. “I had questions about my mother answered and a better understanding of why my dad told me to leave Prairie Sky, but there were so many mysteries, it was kind of hard to unpack everything.”
Whitney turned to her and gave her a sympathetic smile. “Families can be complicated sometimes, and sometimes people hold secrets for a reason, whether it is understandable to others or just to them. Perhaps it makes no sense to you now, but maybe someday it will all become clear.” She offered.
“True.” Ever agreed.
They sat there together for a few minutes in quiet contemplation. The buzzer of her apartment sounded, startling them both, and Whitney sprang to her feet. Buzzing the delivery guy in, she paid for their food and brought it to the kitchen counter. Plating their meals, she returned to Ever on the couch and handed her a plate.
“Now tell me about that hot farmer you fell for!” Whitney grinned, taking a bite of her sandwich.
Ever smiled, set down her plate on the coffee table and met Whitney’s gaze. “You saw how handsome he is, but he is so much more than that. Just so selfless, supportive, and kind. He looks so large and intimidating, but he is so soft and gentle. He made me feel so safe and loved I...” Ever trailed off as she swiped a tear sliding down her cheek.
Whitney put down her plate and reached out to her friend, bringing her in for a hug. “Oh Ever, don’t cry.”
“I messed it up. I think I made a mistake.” Ever cried into Whitney’s shoulder.
“Did you break up?” Whitney asked, meeting Ever’s eyes.
“No, but...” she replied, lowering her eyes. “The day I left to come home; I just could not do it. It was far too painful. I left him a note and a promise that I would try to figure out what I wanted.
