AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But I push my own feelings aside. “I will always be here for you. Not just for the baby either. I’ll always be here for you.”
She nods and swallows hard. “I, uh, I think I’m going to go lie down.”
“Let me know if you need anything,” I tell her as I release my hold on her.
Hallie turns and walks away, and I instantly realize she’s about to do that for the last time. Our time together is almost over. Tomorrow, I’ll be moving her into her own place. I’ll go there and help her set up a nursery. Then, I’ll do the same thing at my own house. Our lives will always be linked, but never in the way it has been this last month and a half.
The cabin feels empty and cold.
It feels like she’s already gone.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Hallie
I love my new place. Yet, hate it at the same time.
Why? Because he’s not here.
The older ranch-style house sits on a large corner lot. It has three bedrooms and two baths, which is way more room than I need, but I do admit, it’ll be nice to have a little space when the baby comes. The problem is, it doesn’t feel like home. It feels cavernous and empty, despite coming with many of the furnishings I would need. A lot of the furniture is somewhat dated or not exactly my taste, but the fact I don’t have to run out and buy complete sets of furniture all at once is a godsend.
I did purchase a new bedroom set and had it delivered this morning. Since the master bedroom is large with an en suite bathroom, I opted to go with the king-sized bed, despite being the only one sleeping in it. I’ll deal with that sad realization later.
Everyone who helped me move my belongings has left for the day. Gabe and Blair were here, as was Logan. He helped make sure everything was where I wanted it, and then Gabe and Logan moved what was left in the larger of the two guest rooms to the storage unit. I’ll be using that room for the baby, so while they were both here, they decided to go ahead and clear out the space. This way, I can paint while the room is empty, and I have a place to put the baby furniture and necessities when I purchase them.
When the work was done, Blair and Gabe left to go home. We’re going to Hudson tomorrow to get a few last-minute things for the wedding, which is coming up in just a few weeks, as well as discuss the baby shower I’m throwing her. Logan hung around a bit longer after they left. He made sure all the light bulbs were changed, checked all the outlets to ensure they were in proper working order, and changed the locks on the doors. Not that I minded, especially since he was doing it all for me and the baby. He’s being a big help, which is greatly appreciated.
However, now he’s gone, having decided he was going to return to his own house for the first time since the fire destroyed the duplex I was living in, and I’m left wondering if I’ll ever be able to be alone again.
I miss him. Terribly. There’s a hole the size of Alaska in my chest where my heart used to be, and I have no idea how to fix it. I had hoped being in my own space, starting to make a new life here, would be the answer I was looking for, but all I see is emptiness. All I feel is loneliness.
And he didn’t sign on for this. He went into this as a friend doing the right thing for the mother of his child. Then said mother fell in love with him. Never once did he tell her there was a happily ever after at the end of our time together. We are partners for the sake of a child, and could be on friendly, cordial terms because of it.
Nothing more.
The baby chooses that exact moment to start kicking, and as my hand covers the thumps, I almost call out to Logan. He’d want to feel the movements, despite having felt them a few times since last night, but he’s not here. He won’t be here at night to feel the baby move, talk to my stomach, or fall asleep with his hand placed protectively over the top.
I slip into a deeper, darker misery as I lie on the old, yet surprisingly comfortable couch. Sadly, there’s no fireplace at this house, so I reach for the throw blanket Blair washed and placed across the back of the couch. It’s not as fuzzy as the one I used at the cabin, but it does the trick. I’m cocooned in warmth and coziness, despite feeling so alone in the moment.
I chose this.
I made the decision to leave.
To start my new life without his everyday presence.
It may not be the choice I wanted to make, but I hadn’t lied to him when I said it was the right one for me.
It is.
I just lied about the reason why.
But I couldn’t tell him I’d fallen in love with him.
That’s my secret to bear.
“I’m so glad you came with me. It’s been forever since we’ve been able to spend more than just a quick lunch together,” Blair says as she drives toward Hudson to make the few stops she needs for wedding supplies.
“That’s because you’re a brilliant doctor, changing the world one patient at a time,” I insist, so stinking proud of my dearest friend.
