Page 114 of Love to Fear You


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“Your mom sent me a lot of photos over the years. I noticed you didn’t bring many with you, so I thought you’d like these.”

“I can’t take all your photos.”

“I have a duplicate album, just like this one.” He taps the cover with his fingers. “Wherever you decide to go, we can go through these pictures together over the phone, even if we’re half a world apart.”

“Thanks, Dad. This is really special.” I sweep my hand over the front cover, which has my name embroidered into the leather.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the way I should’ve been when you were growing up,” he says. “But I’m hoping we can change that moving forward. What are your thoughts about taking a trip this summer?”

“A trip?”

“Yeah. I have a bunch of vacation time I haven’t used. I figured we could take a month or two to romp around Europe now that school’s done, just you and me. What do you say?” His eyes shine with excitement.

“Sure. Sounds great, Dad.”

“It will be such an amazing experience for you.” He grins. “You’ve earned it. You worked really hard to get here, and I’m proud of you.”

Valentina, my tutor, is very good at her job. Somehow, she managed to get me Cs on my final exams, including one B, which is nothing short of a miracle.

“Alright, I’ll be downstairs. Breakfast is ready when you are.” He leans over and plants a kiss on the top of my head, careful not to skew my flower crown. Patting my knee, he stands up and leaves the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

I let out a long exhale of breath. School has been torture, and now that it’s over, I’m relieved. Calm and focused. The only thing left to do is get through the graduation ceremony—to give my father a proud dad moment by watching me accept my diploma. He missed a lot of those memories growing up, so I wanted to offer him one to hold onto before I go.

I set the photo album on the bed and cross over to the vanity. Opening the top drawer, I pull out three letter envelopes and place them in a neat row beneath the mirror. Each one has a name handwritten on the front.

Dad.

Prisha.

Alek.

My father should find these after he gets home. I plan to be long gone by then, but at least this will give him some closure.

The photograph of Mom and me on vacation catches my eye, and I lift it off the vanity to get a closer look.

“I’m coming, Mom. Soon.”

With a gentle kiss against the glass, I set it back down and make my way toward the door. The path in front of me is crystal clear, and an eerie sense of calm washes over me.

This pain I’ve been carrying for so long is so, so heavy. But soon, it will all be over.

I pause on the threshold, turning around to take one last look at my bedroom. Everything is tidy and in order, so Galina won’t have to clean up after me later. I’ve been shitty enough to her as it is.

Downstairs, Galina went all out for breakfast. Stacks of pastries and fruit sit on tea trays on the dining table, along with plates of eggs and sausage and fried potatoes.

Since this is my last breakfast, I decide to splurge and fill up my plate.

“Thanks. This looks delicious.”

She grins as though I awarded her a Michelin star. “I’m glad you like it. You are getting too skinny. Too much stress, yes?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“It is over now. No more school. You are free.”

“Almost.”

Galina bites her lip. “May I do your hair? I can do Andarusian braids.”

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