Page 121 of Love to Fear You


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ME

Third floor boys’ bathroom. It’s just me, tho. Alek went back to help.

My eyes water typing the final sentence, and I hit send. I readjust myself on the floor, sitting in a pile of skirts as I lean against the cold, tile wall.

PRISHA

Ok. Keep me posted. I’m so happy you’re ok.

ME

Me too. I love you.

PRISHA

Love you too.

I scour the internet looking for news, but it’s scarce. Only a couple of foreign-language sites are covering it in real-time, but when I click to translate the page into English, it’s so bad I can’t understand it.

Time passes at a strange pace. A sense of urgency grips my body, which keeps me on edge and alert. But not knowing what’s happening makes a second feel like a minute, and a minute feel like ten. I haven’t heard a gunshot in a while, but that doesn’t mean the coast is clear.

I’m itching to run out of here and find Alek and Dad because until I’m certain they’re alive and safe, I won’t be able to calm down. Dad was in the audience, and Alek ran back into the fray. He’s putting himself at risk on purpose.

Aleksandr Kurochkin is a prince of darkness. He is not a white knight, and he’s certainly never shown any regard for human life—except perhaps mine.

But he decides now he wants to play the hero?

“Damn it, Alek!”

I slam my fist onto the floor, which sends a throbbing pain up my arm, and I hiss.

In a cruel twist of fate, Alek declares his eternal love for me before running into a firestorm of bullets. Being the president’s son, he’s a target.

But I also have to admire him for being a dark knight in shining armor. Alek faces his problems head-on while I run from them. I hide in bathrooms or use sex to forget my misery. I even contemplate killing myself so I won’t have to face it anymore.

But I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of running, and I’m sick of being unable to save those around me. I couldn’t do anything to save Mom.

Maybe I can’t save Alek, either, but I have to try. People I love are in that auditorium, and I won’t stand by while they’re under attack.

“I’m sorry, Alek,” I mutter. “I’m about to break my promise.”

Chapter 29

Willow

I grip the bathroom doorknob in my hand and take a deep breath. It’s the first deep breath I’ve managed since the gunfire started.

And I’m about to head back into the thick of it. I’m either stupid or out of my mind. Probably both.

I undo the lock and peek my head through the door. An eerie silence grips the empty corridor like the calm before a storm, though the sound of my breath pierces the quiet.

With caution, I step into the hallway and make my way toward the stairs, staying alert for any threats. Every footstep comes down with an echo despite treading lightly.

It’s just so silent.

At the top of the staircase, I stare down to the floor below with trepidation. A cold sweat clings to my forehead as I grip the railing with a shaky hand, but I force my feet forward, one step after the other.

On the second floor, I scan the two wings jutting out in either direction. Rows of classroom doors are sealed shut and the lights are turned off. Students and teachers must be hiding in there, yet no signs of life appear. It’s like the building itself is waiting with bated breath.

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