Page 17 of Love to Fear You


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“No! I have nothing to say to either of you. Get a fucking room.”

“Willow!”

I storm across the hallway, my footsteps falling heavy on the wooden floorboards. The door to the bathroom is open, so I hurl myself inside and lock the door behind me.

“Willow, get your ass out here and apologize!”

“Jesus Christ!” I screech. “Just leave me ALONE!”

He starts banging on the door while shouting at me to come out. The door rattles on its hinges, and I flinch each time his fist comes down on the wood.

It’s all too much. All of it.

I press my back to the door and sink down to the tile. My body curls in on itself, and I slap my hands over my ears and squeeze my eyes shut.

I can’t take it anymore.

The dam breaks, and a pained cry is wrenched from my throat. Hot tears spill down my cheeks, my body quaking with sobs. There’s no stopping the onslaught of emotion, and I bawl as hard as I did the day Mom died.

I thought I had no more tears left, but I’m reliving her death all over again.

I would give anything to have her back, to rewind to our life two years ago before cancer ruined everything. When it was just the two of us living happily without my dad.

The banging stops, and at last, quiet.

A pause.

“Come away from the door, David,” Galina whispers on the other side of the door. “Let her grieve.”

Soon, his footsteps retreat, growing fainter as he disappears to his room. The door shuts at the end of the hall.

It’s silent, save for my own whimpering. Silent, but no peace.

The next morning, I arrive downstairs to find a colorful display of fruits and pastries in the dining room. I was hoping to sneak out without being noticed, but Galina waves me over to sit at the table.

“Coffee?” she asks.

“Please.”

I take a seat across from my dad, who’s reading a local newspaper in Russian. For a moment, I’m impressed, until I remind myself what an asshole he is.

His eyes glance up over the rim of the paper, and I look away to avoid eye contact. I busy myself by reaching for an apple.

“Here you are,” Galina says, placing a mug in front of me.

My dad checks his watch. “We need to leave in five minutes so we aren’t late. Ivan is getting the car ready.”

“Wait, we?”

“Yes, for your first day.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t forget. But you don’t have to come.”

He folds his newspaper and sets it on the table. “I know the headmaster, so I figured I’d be there to introduce you and make sure your day gets off to a good start.”

“This isn’t kindergarten,” I say. “I’m basically an adult now, and I can walk myself to class.”

“I’m sure you’re more than capable, but I’ve taken the whole morning off to get you settled.”

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