Page 29 of Love to Fear You


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I sink into the pillows as I float down from my high. Or more like crash down to reality when I realize I’m getting off to thoughts of Aleksandr Kurochkin.

I turn the vibrator off, which plunges my dark bedroom into silence. And in that silence, self-loathing and anger settle in.

I am not interested in Alek. I’m only obsessing over him because he bruised my ego, and I can’t let it go.

Yes, he’s hot, but he’s also conceited, mean, and spoiled. He only plays the part of a bad boy by smoking cigarettes and drinking behind Daddy’s back. It’s pathetic, really.

Prince Alek, my ass. I won’t be satisfied until he’s crawling back to me, begging for a taste of this pussy. And when he does, I’ll laugh him all the way to Siberia.

And I’ll relish giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Since Friday night, I haven’t been able to get that choking scene out of my head. It’s the hottest thing I’ve read in my life and better than any porn I’ve seen, so I’m rereading it between classes because I can’t get enough.

Dark romance books are becoming an obsession.

We’re on a ten-minute break before calculus starts, and I’m about halfway through the book.

“What’s that you’ve got there, malishka?”

Before I have a chance to hide it, Alek comes along and plucks the Kindle right out of my hand.

“Give it back, asshole.”

He turns the device over in his hand and examines it. “I’m curious what has you so distracted today. Must be a really good book.”

I reach up to snatch it away from him, but he’s too quick. As he backs away, his eyes scan the place where I left off, and his eyebrow quirks.

“Well, well, this is a surprise.”

Konstantin comes up to Alek and throws his arm around his neck. “What’s going on?”

“The American girl likes smut,” Alek says, his gaze landing on me. “This is absolute filth.”

“Well, don’t hold out on us,” Johanna sneers. “Read it for the whole class to enjoy.”

I scramble up from my desk, but before I can reach Alek, Konstantin steps between us to block my path.

“No interruptions.”

I scowl at him, and when Alek begins to read aloud, my stomach churns.

One of his hands remained on my hip, and his fingers dug into my flesh to anchor himself. The other hand slid up my back oh so slowly until it reached the back of my neck. But I did not expect him to wrap his broad fingers around me like a dog collar. He tightened his grip to cut off my air supply.

A few of the students laugh, while others appear shocked by the dark content. Granted, this isn’t a typical book for seventeen-year-olds to read.

But the judgment on their faces is too much.

Alek continues to the end of the scene, and by the time he finishes, I can’t breathe. Konstantin keeps me at bay, rendering me powerless to stop the onslaught of humiliation.

He closes the cover of my Kindle with a sharp snap, and I flinch. Konstantin steps aside when Alek approaches.

“Is this what you’re into?” he asks. His voice is low, so low only those sitting close can hear. “Is this what has you blushing right now?”

Before I can stop myself, my hand flies to my burning cheeks.

All eyes in the room are on me, and I might as well be standing here naked with how exposed I feel. All I want is to run from the room and never come back; never face their derision again.

Alek is towering over me, the corner of his mouth curled up into a wicked smirk. He’s baiting me, and if I flee now, he wins.

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